Swan Queen Week
by LisaAbiona15
Summary: Stories for Swan Queen week: sharing another child, MILF, grandmothers, family vacation, mommy in love and parent trap
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own OUAT. So I wanted to finish this yesterday, but I had work and didn't manage to finish it in the time I had to write :(**

 **Some things; I imagine babies to actually already be capable of a lot of magic (in the once universe that is) because of the golden rule that magic is emotion. And babies don't really think and talk already right ( I mean I am assuming on the thinking front. Maybe they would just see images and stuff instead of actually using words but that is a whole other discussion) so they can't be 'distracted'. They don't have any control over their emotions yet, and they probably focus on them a lot more than most teens/adults do. So that's why my personal head canon is that in the Once universe, babies display a lot of accidental magic. So yeah, you can imagine Robyn wreaking a lot of havoc ; )**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

"I am dying. I told you this would happen, I _knew_ giving up my magic would be a bad idea" Zelena groaned, coughing like she is trying to get rid of one of her lungs.

Regina sighed, and tried to not roll her eyes. Fine, tried to not roll them too _obviously_. " Zelena, it is the chicken pox, not the bubonic plague "

For the sixth time that day , Zelena yanked up her sleeves and gestured hysterically at it" Look at this, my skin is _marred._ I look more horrifying than my persona in that awful excuse of a movie"

Well-aware of Zelena's hatred for the Wizard of Oz movie ( Henry had showed it to her), Regina kept silent about it and just arched an eyebrow. Zelena huffed. " Thank you for your loving concern, sis" she said, glaring at Regina.

"Zelena, I assure you that you will be fine. I am well aware that Oz- and the Enchanted Forest as well- did not have an illness such as this and that it must be .. worrying for you. But it is nothing serious, no matter how annoying it is. You are far better off than you would have been if you had gotten any of the myriad of magic diseases ingenious to the Enchanted Forest".

Zelena eyed her suspiciously. "Are you carrying any of those diseases?"

"Yes Zelena, I enjoy falling ill and thus have not taken any of the simple precautions one can take against those illnesses" she said drily.

"You are supposed to be nice to someone who is ill. I feel sorry for the munchkin, if this is also how you treated my nephew".

"I have told you to stop using that nickname".

Zelena rolled her eyes. " The little Gryffindor doesn't even mind sis, so I don't know why you would. Also, this is discrimination against munchkins, what do you even have against them? I know I find them abhorrent , but you would think a _hero_ such as yourself would be nauseatingly happy with them" Sometimes, Regina wanted to ground Henry for bonding with Zelena and deciding to introduce her to his favourite movies, tv shows and books. Other times, she was seriously tempted to lock her sister in a tower so she could no longer bond with Regina's son and annoy her to the point of magical incidents happening.

" I have nothing against munchkins, I am sure they are … not as exasperating as to warrant much insults" just because she couldn't stand such glaring idiocy, she added " And Henry is not a Gryffindor".

"Aren't they the heroes? And Henry is annoyingly chivalrous, reckless and slightly thick-headed in the traditional Charming way".

" That is a common mistake. Gryffindor traits are chivalry and bravery yes, but they are not the sole heroic people. And although Henry is definitely brave and chivalrous, he is also cunning, ambitious and stubborn. Obviously, he is a Slytherin".

Zelena cackled. " The boy is definitely not a Slytherin, he is far too soft for that".

"You just have the common misconceptions of what the house stands for. And Henry would campaign against the idiot Pureblood superiority ideas, as well as other 'evil' that the house supposedly has" As Regina has had this discussion many times with Henry, she knows exactly what Henry would do if he ended up in Slytherin.

Zelena chortled. " You're such a nerd. The both of you"

Regina just threw her sister an annoyed look and handed her another glass of water. " Drink. Whale said it was very important that we keep you hydrated".

Zelena groaned. "I already feel more bloated than when I was _pregnant_ "

" Zelena, you want to get better, do you not?"

" Of course, but I already think _water_ will do anything. Unless it is from the lake of Naxos, you pouring water down my throat won't do much".

" The doctors gave me a list of instructions, the same list that you neglected to read and instead threw in the hearth, and it says we need to keep you hydrated".

Zelena looked sullen, but did sip her water. She eyed the glass like she was going to throw it as well, but Regina shot her the same look she would give Henry when he was thinking about getting rid of his vegetables. Zelena rolled her eyes and put the glass down instead.

" The list also says you can use ibuprofen or antihistamine tablets, which are on the nightstand next to you. You can also ask someone to rub emollients into your skin".

"The last thing sounds like it could be fun. What is it?".

" Emollients are soothing creams. They will help with the itching".

Zelena snickered. " Are you going to do that?".

"No, I will leave in a moment".

"Fine by me. You're grumpier than that dwarf honestly".

"I have to take care of your daughter and my son, but I will send someone this way to take care of you".

" As long as it is not Snow" Zelena said indifferently

They both made a face, although Regina's expression had a lot more fondness than Zelena's. " She might actually visit".

Zelena groaned. "Tell her I've died already and you want to spare her the traumatizing experience of seeing my mutilated body".

"That is a horrible idea, and she would absolutely insufferable when she discovered you were well. Not to matter that it would cruel "

" Urgh, you're so boring sometimes. Go, if you won't even do me this teensy-tiny favour".

" Do not forget to take the medicine I left you, and do not scratch unless you want scars".

"Fine, fine. Wait- you are not going to make _Snow_ be the one to help me with the cream thingies are you?".

Regina rolled her eyes. " Annoy me enough and I just might. You know she would be _delighted_ ".

Accompanied by threats from her sister, Regina walked away again. She definitely no longer loathed her sister, but the idea that Snow would try to take care of the rather petulant witch wa _s_ rather amusing.

-SQ-

As soon as Regina stopped softly humming to Robyn, she started crying again. Regina turned around and glared at the intruder, who had slammed the door open and startled her as well as made Robyn cry.

Emma smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I didn't really have my hands free so I had to use my boot"

Regina walked towards her, humming and cradling Robyn. As soon as she stopped, Robyn started crying softly again. " What is all this ?" Regina asked, immediately pulling Robyn closer to her chest and lifting her a little. The little girl giggled happily as she was now able to grab Regina's hair, and softly tug it as well as chew on it.

Emma grinned. " Stuff for Robyn, of course! " she held up a teething toy, a plush wicked witch , colouring pencils, toy blocks and some other stuff Regina didn't really know what to make off. Regina started to tell Emma they already had toys and such for Robyn, but Emma was looking happier than Regina had seen her in ages and – " Did you conjure that thing" she nodded at the wicked witch.

Emma nodded. " Yup. You know how much Robyn loves the Wizard of Oz" they had mostly decided Robyn loved it because it was hilarious to see Zelena try to deal with that, although it was true that Robyn made happy sounds whenever the movie was on.

" So you have continued your magic lessons?".

Emma shrugged. " I have been busy with the job and Hook, but it's like riding a bike, right?".

" It is a way of living, one that requires practise " Regina scolded.

Emma clutched the items in her arms tighter. " I'm just busy and- " she swallowed whatever she had to say, but Regina knew. Hook didn't like it when Emma studied magic, especially not when it meant spending entire evenings with Regina.

" I see you were smart enough to not summon an Evil Queen one" Regina changed the subject.

Emma grinned and walked into the living room. Regina called out to not dump everything on the couch ( Emma dumped everything on the couch) and watched as the woman walked over to her, glaring suspiciously at where Emma was holding her hands behind her back.

"Emma- "

Emma took two quick steps, and gently pulled Robyn's hands away from Regina's hair. Before the girl could start crying, she handed her a small plush- " The _crone_? Seriously?" Regina exclaimed, looking as her nice let out a squeal and said 'buh buh buh'.

" Yup. Look how much she loves it!"

" It is hideous"

" Yeah, but she obviously told us she loved it".

" There is no evidence – actually, you are right" when Emma squinted her eyes suspiciously, Regina smirked. "She made those sounds when you tripped over your own feet as well"

Emma rolled her eyes. "I didn't trip over my own feet".

" Keep telling yourself that".

"And Robyn is the nicest Mills , so she would never enjoy my pain".

Regina arched her eyebrow. " I would think Henry would be the nicest Mills".

" Henry is a Swan-Mills" Emma said

" I did not give you permission to hyphenate our names, Emma. And it would obviously be Mills-Swan".

"No, I actually thought about this and Swan-Mills sounds better".

" Why would you think about this?".

" Because Henry is our son, and it is fine he has your name considering he also has your attitude but I thought he might like to have both our names"

Regina almost reminded Emma she wasn't even called Swan anymore , but held it back at the last moment. She didn't want to think about that, and they definitely did not talk about that. Sometimes, she seriously thought Emma didn't even want to think about that.

" Swan-Mills is tolerable, I suppose" she gave in, immediately rewarded with a bright smile from Emma.

" It's pretty awesome, isn't it?" Emma said happily, then looked down at Robyn. " you know, what is the little bean's last name anyways?".

" She is a Mills" Regina said immediately.

"Robyn Mills" Emma shook her head. " Nope. Doesn't sound right" she looked down at Robyn, cuddling her newest toy. " What about it kid? Want be a Swan?".

Regina snorted. " Zelena will force you to marry another monkey if you attempt to steal her daughter " she arched her eyebrow. " Not that it would not be an improvement".

" I didn't even marry Walsh " Regina was just about to reply when Emma took another step towards her and their shoulders were almost pressed together as they both looked down at Robyn. "She is kind of adorable. Most babies are sort of gross, but she isn't".

" She is blessed with the good looks of our family" Regina said.

Emma chuckled. " I said adorable, not beautiful. But if she really has got your genes, she is going to be gorgeous".

" Are you saying she is not already beautiful?" Regina said, slightly defensively. The friendship she had with her sister had been hard-fought and difficult, but she had immediately loved her niece. In fact, she was almost as protective of Robyn as she was of Henry.

" I mean, for a baby sure".

" Emma- ".

Emma laughed. Regina's heart suddenly sank- when had she last heard Emma laugh like this? _During family dinner, perhaps._ But those had become rarer as of lately, and Regina suspected it had something to do with how Hook demanded much of Emma's attention.

" You are so protective of her" Emma said, eyes still slightly aglow.

" You do not have to make fun of me- ".

" I am not. Well okay, maybe a little bit but it is really good" she looked at Robyn. " She deserves someone who looks after her, and protects her even if it's a little bit ridiculous" Regina knew Emma well enough to know she is thinking of her own childhood now. It's an awful thought, that Emma has never had something as simple as someone who wants to protect her.

" Every child deserves that " Regina said, careful not to outright state that Emma deserved it, but watching her best friend to see whether she understood what Regina was saying. There was a long stretch of silence before Emma finally looked up, and nodded.

" Yeah"

" Do you not have duties elsewhere?" Regina quietly asked, both to interrupt the heavy silence and because she had been wondering what Emma was doing the moment she more-or-less kicked Regina's door in.

Emma shrugged. "I asked dad to cover for me"

" What about- " Emma's head snapped up. " He has been on my case for ages. Says I work too hard". _The pirate. Obviously she does not wish to talk about him._

" He would be right. You have been covering a lot of nightshifts".

" I thought it made sense, as I have a moody teenager that spends most of his time with friends or his other mom and they have a baby who need to be watched constantly"

" So why are you not working now then?"

Emma stiffened. " Do you want me to- "

" That is not why I asked".

" Oh " Emma smiled. " Well, I can hardly let you do the single parent thing _again_ , can I? ".

Regina stared at Emma. " You did not give birth to this child, so we are hardly co-parents. Unless you would marry Zelena, you- "

" We made that promise together"

" I cannot believe it. You – "

Emma flushed very slightly, but kept smiling. " I can help! I sometimes help my parents with their kid as well, and I still sort of have memories of raising Henry. Besides, someone needs to be the fun parent and calm you down when you get really intense"

"Raising Robyn, even temporarily, is a full-time job Emma and you have your job as well as the one-handed wonder that cannot be left alone, lest he attacks another household appliance".

" Listen, this is more important. And we have already shown we are a good team"

"I agree that Robyn is more important than the STD-transmitter you are involved with, but I am not certain whether he would agree- ".

" Come on! We're team mom. We already raised one kid, and look how well he turned out"

 _I have officially lost my mind. It must be the prolonged exposure to the Charmings._ "Fine"

" I knew you would see it my way! I am going to get my stuff".

" You do that, I will- wait. What _stuff_ ".

-SQ-

Henry Mills is used to crazy or inexplicable things happening around him. When he was ten, he found out his mother was the evil queen and his sleepy little town was magically created as part of a curse. Peter Pan, his _great-grandfather_ , has tried to kill him by using Henry's heart to become more powerful. During family dinners, Rumpelstiltskin, Belle, the Evil queen, Snow White, Prince Charming and captain Hook are all there.

( his mom is married to a guy she has gone to the Underworld for, even though he was only there because he tried to kill her family)

Even after all the crazy things that have happened, he is still surprised by what he sees when he walks into the room.

The normal tidy place is now littered by several plush toys ( he is especially traumatized by the one that looks like him, the one that Robyn has in her mouth), colouring pencils, clothing, bottles with something green, a tiny birdhouse, equipment for laser games, a Ravenclaw toothbrush, a gun and what he thinks might be a cleaning kit for a gun. On the couch, his mom is stretched out with Robyn laying on her chest, happily saying 'puh puh puh' while Emma tells a story animatedly. The entire room smells heavenly, and he realizes it's because mom is in the kitchen.

" Mom?" he questions, slowly approaching Emma. She waves at him, and continues telling the story to Robyn. He waits until she is finished, pushing her feet off the couch so he can sit at its end. As soon as she has finished the story, she gives him a bright smile.

" Hi Henry, was everything okay at the stables?".

" Yeah. Uh what is all this?" he gestures at the room

" Stuff for Robyn, and for me"

" Are you moving in?".

" Not really. Just here to take care of Robyn".

" Wasn't mom doing that already?".

" Yeah, but I am going to help her obviously. Your mom will never have to raise a kid on her own again".

" I don't think she minded "

" But it was difficult, and we're a good team. We did a good job with you, right?".

" Sure. Although I did get kidnapped a couple of times- I am sure that can happen to anyone".

" True, this town is crazy"

" So uh did you discuss this with mom?".

" No, but she was there when I promised Zelena we would take care of Robyn is something happened, so it was pretty obvious".

" Okay, but how did she react?" he is going to sneak upstairs later to ask Zelena about this interesting conversation where his moms apparently decided to co-parent another child.

"She started muttering in Spanish and walked towards the kitchen. Then she put on music, and she tried to steal my gun" they both look at the gun. "She claimed it was unsafe".

" It kind of is mom, you could accidentally shoot someone " he says, rolling his eyes

" Yeah, but I am careful "

He arches his eyebrow. "You once forgot the safety pin was on. You have tripped over it more than once".

"Only when I have had a nightshift, and I am dead tired"

" I am going to ask mom whether she is all right. Adios"

Shaking his head, he walks into the kitchen. He is barely faced by the sight of ingredients everywhere, several finished dishes on the counters and his mom aggressively cutting something. There's flour on her face, and he wipes it off before kissing her cheek.

" Hi _mamá_ " he says

His mom exhales slowly. " Your mother is insane" the knife makes an indent in mom's cutting board. " First she marries that completely undeserving – " he eyes the knife warily "narcistic _pig_ , then - " really, what if she cuts herself accidentally? " she starts missing family dinners " he tries to take the knife from her " and I have attempted to be supportive , because if this is what she wants then who am I to stay in the way – she would not listen anyways, as her entire family is too stubborn for their own good- "

He gently manages to take the knife from her. " Mom. Breathe"

She inhales deeply. " Perdón, mijo".

" It's okay" he puts the knife down. " Are you all right?"

" I am fine, she just- "

" I know, it sucks. I don't like it either mom, but she has to see it herself you know? "

"I don't see that happening. After the debacle with the darkness, I thought she would surely put an end to it" Mom laughs, and he swallows. "Instead, she went to the Underworld to return him ".

" I don't understand it either "he says, leaning against his mom. "I asked Archie why my mom would want to be with someone who treats her like crap, and he said that it might be because of her childhood. He says that people with a childhood like mom often accept the smallest bits of attention. And that her being the saviour also likely plays a role".

" What else did he say? ".

Henry shrugs. "That I can't do much, but be supportive" he looks at his mom meaningfully. " That she might be able to let him go if she realizes she loves someone else , someone _better_ more".

Regina sighs. " Henry, your mother does not return my - "he has known for months, but she is still hesitant to admit it, claiming that it could ruin everything. "feelings"

" I think she does. I know she loves Hook, but they're not good for each other. They're not anything like grandma and grandpa, like _true love"_

"Not everyone can have true love".

" But you can. I know you are afraid mom, and think you should be happy with what you already have. But this situation, this whole thing- it is wrong and it sucks"

"Henry, your mother needs to be free to make her own choices "

"But they're terrible to each other!"

"Yes, and sometimes relationships are like that. But I can't – she is happy isn't she?"

" You can't lie to yourself mom, you know she isn't. She might love him, but they keep hurting each other and they can't let each other _go_ "

Regina immediately approaches him, and hugs him. He hugs her back, slowly calming down. His mom has a way of making him feel safe and secure, like nothing bad could really touch him. " I don't want my mom to hurt anymore" he whispers.

She gently pulls back, and wipes his hair away from his eyes. " Life always hurts Henry, and I wish I could protect you from that"

" You deserve to be happy- you've been through so much, both of you, and you have lost so much and _you deserve to be happy_ ".

"It is not about deserving. When I was .. young, I would have deserved something good, because I had committed no wrongs. So if it was about deserving, I would have gotten my happy ending then Henry"

" People shouldn't have to be pure and good and never hurt anyone to get some happiness. People make mistakes, right?".

" Yes, but there is a difference between making mistakes and wilfully committing murder" Regina smiles sadly. " Which is why I think you are completely right, and Emma does deserve that happy ending. After the childhood she had because of me, and fighting all these years for the town, she deserves something worthwhile"

"Mom has changed" he says, swallowing. It's odd, how quickly a person can grab on to another person, and change them so much that their own family thinks 'where have you gone'?

Mom's eyes show his pain. " She has. That sometimes happens to a person, if they have to fight for too long and they get attached to something toxic"

"She still thinks you deserve a happy ending- that hasn't changed"

He is looking down, and Regina gently pulls his chin up so she can look into his eyes. " Neither has her love for you. She will _always_ love you"

"She loves you too" he insists

"Henry-".

" Why is that so difficult for you? " he cries out. " Why can't you- she sacrificed her life for you. She protected you. She stood up for you, and against you when you were being awful. She trusted you , to save her but also to make the most difficult choice if needed. That's something people in love do. Taking care of each other- but also stopping you if you do something shitty "

" Because that is your mother" Regina cries out, stepping away from Henry. "That's who Emma is, this brave, crude, empathic person who might hurt people and overstep but who in the end, just wants to save people from everything she has felt. That is not love, that is just who she is- ".

"No! She isn't. Mom- " he shakes his head. " She wouldn't do that stuff for just anyone, especially now. But before, she would've helped people yeah and she would step in if she thought someone really couldn't fight their battles on their own but- there is stuff she would only do for me or you. Stupid stuff, like agreeing to eat Kale salad or sit on a horse. But also the important stuff, like punching a man because he hurt you , or taking on the literal d _arkness_ because she thinks you deserve everything"

"I can't – I can't take anything else from Emma, Henry, I just c _an't_ "

" You wouldn't take anything, you would heal something" Henry shakes his head. "I already noticed at first, that Hook was changing her, but I was like you. I decided to let it slide, and focus on the times she was happy because of him, right? But mom, this past year- it has been so much worse and – "

"Henry, we cannot force Emma. I know you still think these operations of yours fix everything, but- ".

" She is here, and not with him. She offered to raise another child with you, w _ithout hesitating to think what it means_. Just think about that, mom. Even you can't deny that" he is angry, but he still kisses her cheek before striding away from her.

She almost wonders whether he has a point, but even if Emma loves her-

They are so many reasons why Emma deserves better, why it is safer, that Regina would never even dare to love her freely and openly. As soon as Regina realized she was in love with Emma, she decided she would never actually tell the woman, to protect her.

After, Emma isn't just good enough for _Hook._

-SQ-

Turns out, raising a baby with Emma is exhausting. Not just because the woman is childish herself, but because every time Emma walks in with Robyn in her arms, Regina _pines_. It is really a perfect sort of torture, the type she is immediately addicted to, because Emma is so much more like herself when she is playing with Robyn or running into the kitchen, claiming Robyn is hungry. And it such a perfect image, Emma Swan( never Jones. Regina refuses to call her that in her head) with her dirty boots throwing her gun on the counter and taking Robyn from her arms. Laughing when Regina scolds her, and spinning Robyn around and joking.

Regina just wants, and tries to hide it. It's an insane thing, wanting Emma Swan. It includes rolling your eyes with a smile at the dirty socks you find ( on the staircase, by the door, balled up _next_ to the laundry basket), being woken in the middle of the night because your foolish live-in saviour comes barging into your room with her gun drawn, scolding the two people having a lively discussion with food in your mouth, being cajoled into trying odd food combinations (melted chocolate on a cheese pizza, she will block Emma's access to that BuzzFeed site if it is the last thing she does). It includes many things, new things every day and happiness.

It also includes receiving many apps, including abbreviations and spelling mistakes and too many emoticons. And receiving them on the most random moments, when her best friend is on night patrol or just can't sleep , and the moments where she knows Emma is doing it on purpose. She has a meeting right now ( Emma is definitely doing it on purpose)

 _SHE JUST SAID MY NAME_

 _YES_

 _I WIN_

 _TAKE THAT_

A rather regrettable incident has taught her to _never_ ignore Emma's apps, so she quickly types a response in the middle of some speech about the 'advantages of tending to your sheep'. Actually, that doesn't make sense so there is a slight chance Regina just missed part of what the woman in front of her was saying.

 **I am in the midst of a meeting, do not text me**

 _Nice try, but blatant denial doesn't help here. SHE SAID MY NAME FIRST._

 _Regina are you dead?_

 _Please don't be dead_

 _I will even lie and say Robyn didn't say my name first_

 **I did not answer for fifteen minutes because I am in a meeting. I am hardly at opportunity to suddenly die, unless either of the people in front of me have been hiding some measure of intellect as well as an enormous aptitude for magic. Highly unlikely, I assure you**

 _This is Storybrooke, for all we know Izma is going to show up and turn either of us into a lama._

 **You would be more tolerable as a lama**

 _Those things spit, and bite. I would not be more tolerable as a lama. Anyways, please don't die, turn into a lama ( or any animal really) or lose control of your magic and turn someone else into anything. Actually, it might be better if me and Robby come to Town Hall._

 **If I promise none of those things will happen, will you stay away? And I forbid you to use that nickname**

 _Can't forbid me anything._

 **I will withhold my cooking from you**

 _REGINA_

 **One inane emoticon, and I will destroy your happiness**

 _I will go to Granny's_

 **That will never satisfy you the way I can.** Regina stared down at her own text with no small amount of annoyance and mortification. She had made the innuendo automatically. This happened more often lately, as Regina and Emma were often in each other's company or at the very least contacting each other so they could properly care for Robyn.

 _You can't threaten me, I am immune_

 **I will send your mother that picture of when Robyn accidentally magicked your clothing into something else**

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT" the man that was talking suddenly shrieks, someone falls of their chair, someone else curses furiously as their knee slam into the table, another person accidentally throws their coffee on the person next to them, and Regina flinches as the loud voice appears out of nowhere.

She glares at Emma. "What did I tell you about transporting with Robyn in your arms?".

"She loves it, she does it all the time" she points at Regina. "And you're not going to send that picture".

" We were in the middle of a rather important- ".

" Oh cut the crap, it's – and I am quoting _you_ \- 'just another weak fond for petty complaints and pettier ideas '. And you know Snow would be unbearable, and get all misty-eyed and – ".

Regina holds her phone up. " I will not allow you to interrupt my meeting- "

"Regina, I swear I will paint your room green – ".

" It is completely inappropriate, what kind of example are you setting- "

" Hell, I will turn your _hair_ green- " .

They both shut up at the same moment. Because they can't talk anymore, so they're limited to facial expressions. Unlike the people around them ( the ones who don't have burns are looking at them with an expression best called confused terror), they immediately look at Robyn accusingly.

"n-n" she says, which probably means 'I don't like it when you argue'.

Regina sighs, and slowly sits back in her chair. She conjures another one for Emma, who sits down into it after a short hesitation, and hands her Robyn. Regina cradles Robyn, and watches Emma grab one of Regina's pens, and conjure a piece of paper. She writes something down, then shoves it to Regina.

 _I am going to turn your hair green_

 **I will simply turn it back to its original colour**

 _I am sure Gold has a thing that makes it permanent_

 **I am far more adept at revenge than you , do you honestly wish to risk my wrath?**

 _You suck at revenge. You couldn't beat my mom after THIRTY years. And then you became her friend, and protected her a bunch of times, saved her son, and even made sure she still had true love._

 **I am friends with your mother, and it is very easy to convince her. And my sister would be more than happy to help**

 _I have Ruby and my dad_

 **Your dad will be of little help, and I can easily deal with the wolf**

They're interrupted when someone clears their throat, and then promptly stumbles back into their chair as both women look at them. Clearly, they manage to terrify people even when they aren't speaking and one of them has a smiling baby in their arms. They terrify everyone so much that they don't even speak when Emma looks at Regina for a moment and starts to stand up. In fact, the last thing they see before they teleport, is the relieved faces around them.

"How come you can teleport with her in your arms?"

Regina ignores Emma, and instead walks towards the kitchen with Robyn in her arms. " Clean the mess in the living room"

" You haven't even been there, how do you know it's a mess? "

"Because whenever you are watching Robyn and I am not there, you make a mess. So clean it".

" Fine. But only if you make me a snack".

"I am not your personal cook"

"Yeah, I know that" Emma starts walking towards the living room. " I would love some grilled cheese "she calls back.

Regina looks at the girl happily smiling in her arms. "Can you believe that woman? She just assumes I will make her something " The fact that Regina actually does constantly make things for Emma, recipes she knows Emma loves or things she think Emma might like, is of little importance. She is just trying to make the saviour eat healthier, so Henry does not have to miss a mother because the idiot gave herself a heart attack gorging on anything grease-filled.

She summons a high chair, where she carefully places Robyn in. She puts on some music, as she has learned that is the only way to keep Robyn from fussing if she is in that chair. The girl really is the human version of a tornado sometimes, always wanting to crawl and babble and hating things like chairs or her crib.

Regina hums along with the song as she grabs a bottle, and places it in the microwave. She hesitates for a moment, but finally sighs and start making a grilled cheese as well. She is almost finished when Emma's voice startles her.

"I like that"

" I do not possess the ability to read minds. You like what?"

" That you sing when you cook. You didn't use to do that, did you? "

"I sometimes sang when I allowed Henry to help in the kitchen, but that has been ages ago" Regina says, automatically smiling when she thinks of their son.

"Too bad, you've got a good voice " Emma says, still leaning against the doorway.

"Thank you" they're both silent for a while before Regina breaks that silence again. " I have never heard you sing to Robyn. Why not?".

Emma snorts. "Because my singing voice is awful"

" Oh really?".

" Yup. This one time in high school, I had this idea of becoming a star so I taught myself to play the guitar and wanted to try for the talent show right? Except I hadn't really paid attention to my singing, just to learning to play the guitar. The jury was really horrified"

" But you can play the guitar?".

"I can "

"Where did you get your guitar? Did one of your foster families give it to you?"

"Nah. There was this girl in my class who was pretty bad at math, so I made a deal with her. I would tutor her, and she would teach me to play guitar"

"I did not know you were good at math".

" I am- or was. I didn't always pay attention , but math was one of the subjects I usually got high marks for"

"would you play for us sometime?".

Emma nods. " Sure. Would you sing?".

Regina finishes the grilled cheese and hands it to Emma, who eyes it like it is the sorcerer's stone. She gets the bottle from the microwave and carefully hands it to Robyn. She keeps an eye on the girl when she faces Emma to answer her question.

"I might be willing, yes. Did you clean the room?"

Emma nods. " Uh-uh" she mumbles, chewing happily on a gargantuan bite of the grilled cheese.

Regina chuckles, and walks towards her. She summons a napkin, and starts to wipe Emma's cheek. " You are worse than Henry, honestly "

Emma just shrugs. "I just enjoy food. Also, my face will be dirty again in about a minute, so you're just wasting napkins now"

"The horror" Regina says drily. She grimaces when Emma takes another gigantic bite, and walks towards Robyn to pick her up. " It is unsafe to hold Robyn with only one arm"

Emma flexes her muscle. " She is really light, and I can bench press like ten times her weight, so calm down" to Robyn she says "Your mother worries so much"

" Aunt. I am her aunt, Emma. Sometimes I honestly suspect you wish to steal Robyn from my sister"

" Fine, we are her aunties then. And I just like the little bean, that's all. She has grown on me, despite the horrible magical incidents"

" You seemed very happy with some of those magical incidents".

Emma's lips twitch. " It was pretty funny when we were bathing her, and she apparently decided she wanted her aunt to bathe as well".

" _Fu-_ do you have any idea how much that outfit cost?"

" I am going to guess it is somewhere between a lot and a fuckton"

"Emma " Regina hisses, taking Robyn from her arms.

Emma rolls her eyes. " She is a _baby_ , she doesn't even know what I am saying".

" If you curse around her, she will learn curse words and use them".

" Regina, it will be- "

"Do not curse around her"

Emma holds up her hands mockingly. " Fine"

" Now, please go and get our son. I am going to make lunch for him as well"

" Can I have another- ".

" I was already going to make that, as I know from experience you are-

Emma grins. " This is why we're friends"

"Don't run up the stairs" is all Regina says, even though it is completely _useless._ Half a minute later, she hears the expected sound of Emma thundering up the stairs ( which she only does when they are going to eat)

Regina can't quite suppress a fond smile.

-SQ-

Bath time with Robyn is complicated. Their girl usually likes it, but she does tend to make the weirdest things happen with her magic, and when she doesn't want to bathe it is a nightmare getting her into the tub.

Right now, she is gurgling happily and clapping her hands as she makes the water float around in bubbles that look like they have tiny rainbows trapped inside. "Gina !" she says, pointing at the light that bounces off Regina's hair. By now, Robyn has actually said 'Gina' a lot of times, so Regina doesn't jump up and film it like the first time it happened. Instead she just smiles and leans forward.

Emma snorts when Robyn immediately slaps the water, and Regina gets a face full of soapy water. Emma stops smiling when Regina waves her hand, and there's immediately a rainstorm above her head. "Cold cold cold " she chants, glaring at the smirking woman next to her.

"You were asking for that" Regina says, s _till_ smirking. It is probably why Emma does the thing she does next: she throws her arms around Regina, and pulls her tightly against her. The rain stops after several seconds, and Regina tries to get away but Emma just holds on. "You're not going to make me wet again" she says

" _what?_ ".

" If I let you go, you will immediately start the invisible cloud thing again " Emma laughs.

Regina tries to teleport, Emma can tell by the way the woman pressed against her suddenly starts to heat up , but Emma forces her own magic to keep Regina there. She doesn't even know how she does it, just focuses on the emotion inside her and tightens her grip subtly. Regina lifts her head and Emma is already expecting the glare when she sees Regina isn't glaring at all. She is looking- Emma can't make anything of that expression, that is sort of _panicked_ and in _pain_ no matter how much Regina tries to hide it, and mostly succeeds.

" Re- " she suddenly realizes the woman in her arms is unnaturally still, and stiff like a statue. She realizes Regina's chest is moving like she is taking great, gulping breaths of air ( she is), and that she can feel how Regina's heart races.

She steps back and starts to ramble. " Shit shit- is this about the or Cora or- fuck Regina, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I am so sorry – it was just a stupid thing, I will never just grab you again- ".

Regina slowly swallows. " It is fine"

Emma shakes her head. " No, it isn't. I know you've probably got issues- I have seen it with some kids in the foster systems – and I just _grabbed_ you"

"That wasn't – just let it go, Emma".

"You are my friend, of course I am not just letting it go" Emma goes to touch Regina's shoulder when she drops her hand.

Regina rolls her eyes. "I am not made of _glass_ , I will not break if you touch me".

" I don't want to – "

They both turn their heads very slowly when Robyn starts to cry loudly. When they look at her, she has her face scrunched up and is slapping the water and moving around. They both move towards her at the exact same moment, Regina already muttering things in a low voice while Emma makes silly faces. It doesn't work, as Robyn is still crying.

"What is it, why is she doing that? " Emma hisses, while still making the silliest face she can think off

Regina shakes her head. " I don't - perhaps she thinks we are fighting again. She loathes that".

" We are not fighting, Robby, it's all right" Emma tries to reassure the girl.

Regina glares at her when Robyn keeps crying. "That is not working" she turns to her niece. "It is fine, nena, the foolish woman was just being nauseatingly chivalrous"

" You are unbelievable" Emma grouses

"Well, you- " it is the last thing Regina will say for a while; they both made the mistake to look away from Robyn, and thus missed her hands turning a pistachio colour, and the light that apparently caused it shooting towards them. As soon as they are enveloped by the light, their bodies shrink and they're dropped into the bath. Emma immediately starts kicking and breaks the surface, but Regina hits her head against the tub-

Emma swims to her. " Why- " she narrowly avoids swallowing water " is my " Regina is sinking now, so Emma kicks again " life " she is almost there "so fucking ridiculous" she grabs Regina's arm, and tugs her against her. She almost chokes as she accidentally swallows two mouthfuls of water, but she refuses to die like this.

"Come on" she mutters, trying to focus on her magic. Which is kind of impossible, as she is terrified. Not just because Regina hit her head really fucking hard and that alone is terrifying, but also because there is a giant-sized baby in front of her.

 _Focus. Emotions._ She looks at Regina, and she feels her stomach roll uncomfortably again. _I want her to be safe, she needs to be okay. I just want to-_ it's like she is trying to watch through fog for a moment, and then her magic dissipates and she is leaning over a normal-sized Regina. She immediately places the heel of her hand on the centre of Regina's chest, and presses down two inches. She does 30 chest compressions, all that jack her stupid teacher that she had when she decided she needed to learn first aid, talked about.

"Come on, don't you fucking dare, I will have Henry get a mohawk and tattoos if you die Regina"

Emma finally decides this shit isn't working, so she hopes she didn't follow first aid lessons in what free time she had for nothing, and pinches Regina's nose closed. She is just leaning in, inches away from that lip scar actually when the body beneath her lurches and Regina very nearly headbutts her.

" What- " she coughs rather furiously " do you- " there is water dribbling down her chin now " _think_ you – " Emma waits patiently until the last bout of coughing stops. " are doing?".

Emma thinks Regina is just shocked, partly because of almost drowning in a bath tub, but then the woman actually freaks out badly and doesn't calm down and it changes into bickering-bordering-on-an-argument, and suddenly Emma is looking at the door slamming closed.

She slowly turns to Robyn. " What the hell was that about?".

" Gina" Robyn says sagely.

-SQ-

Maybe Emma should stop waking Regina up in the middle of the night. Regina definitely thinks so, judging by her expression.

" What is this? " Emma questions, waving the bunch of papers she just happened to see in Regina's office in Regina's face. She kind of regrets it when Regina gives her a look that is somewhere between furious and hurt.

" Private documents that you apparently stole from me".

Emma plops down on the bed. " You're adopting another child? Why didn't you discuss this with me?".

Regina freezes. " I am under no obligation to ask for your permission, miss Sw- sheriff" she hisses

" That's not- " Emma hesitates, but then says " I thought we could co-parent, that you would share things with me".

Regina's laugh is incredulous. " Are you offering to co-parent all future children I may have, then? ".

"I just don't want you to do this alone".

"I am more than capable of raising children without a significant other" Regina pushes out through gritted teeth.

" That isn't what I meant- it's just really difficult, and you deserve help from people who care about you"

Regina inhales in that special way she has when she is trying not to throw a fireball at something. "What are you even saying, Emma?".

" I am saying that I am here for you and that kid. If she is yours, she is one of us and I will be whatever you want. I can be her crazy aunt or godmother or co-parent or whatever"

" So you are supporting this decision of mine"

Emma smiles, it's not necessarily a happy smile but it is a beautiful one. " Of course. You're a great mom, some kid is going to be incredibly lucky to have you".

" I – thank you".

Emma shrugs. "It's true"

" Why are you offering this?"

"I told you- ".

" You are married. You have a _husband_ , who is already very cross with you because you have been spending nearly all your time with Henry and I. Do you not wish to build a family with him?".

"I already have a family. You, Henry, my parents, my brother and even Zelena and Robyn"

" If you don't want more children, then why are you offering to co-parent again?".

" I never said I didn't want more children. It's not like I really want it, like I am thinking of getting pregnant or adopting or whatever. But I sometimes think it really sucks I missed such a large part of Henry's life, and I think about my own childhood and how there still must be so many kids that weren't as lucky as Henry was - " Emma shrugs again . " I would like to be there for such a kid"

Regina wants to point out the obvious flaws in that offer, the most noticeable one being that Emma is _married,_ but Emma speaks before she does. "What age are you thinking off?".

Regina shakes her head. " I beg your pardon?".

" The kid we are adopting, what age are you thinking off? Do you want to adopt another baby, or one of the older kids?".

" I do not really have a preference"

" What about an older kid? They're the ones who don't really have good chances of being adopted" Emma suggest, obviously trying to appear nonchalant even though she really isn't. She is usually far better at hiding or suppressing her emotions so Regina knows it really is that important to her

She nods. " That seems like a good idea".

Emma smiles, an exact copy of the very first time Regina saw her smile. " Okay. So we are going to start the process?".

Regina nods, and smiles as well. "I wanted to start tomorrow".

Emma nods. "Perfectly fine with me" she yawns, and slowly starts to stand up. " Sorry for waking you. See you tomorrow".

As soon as Emma has left the room, Regina allows her body to fall down on her body again, and stares at the ceiling with a smile. Even when Emma is interrupting what little rest she manages to snatch for herself, it is still wonderful somehow.

She sits back up again when she realizes Emma has just talked her into co-parenting another kid together. Again.

-SQ-

They're sitting on the couch together, Robyn asleep behind them, when Henry walks in. He takes one look at all the papers around them, at Regina's ramrod-straight position that looks painful and the way Emma keeps fidgeting and slowly closes his eyes.

"Are you adopting another child?".

" Henry, you know we- ".

"Love you, I am irreplaceable, I am special, your love for me will never lessen et cetera. I know, mom has given me that speech already. I mean, are you, both of you, you together, adopting another child?".

Emma nods. " Yeah. We were thi- " she stares as Henry slides his backpack off, and throws it on the floor. She frowns when he throws his hands up and screams " I HAVE HAD IT"

"Uhm Regina, should we- "

Henry approaches them, glaring at the both of them. " You people are so _estúpida "_

He turns to Emma. " Mom is in love with you. She is so incredibly in love with you that she didn't say anything about how Hook is in the top ten of worst candidates for boyfriend ever because she thought he made you happy. She is so ludicrously, hopelessly in true love with you that she didn't destroy you when you hurt me. She is so incredibly stupidly in love with you that she went to the Underworld for you, and refused to leave you. She is so much in love with you that she constantly gazes at you when you're not looking and she gets these ridiculous expressions around you"

He takes a deep breath – " Don't say anything, I am not finished" – and continues. " And YOU are just as bad, except worse because you don't even seem to realize you love her. You sacrificed your soul for her, constantly loudly exclaim you believe in her, are completely terrified of hurting her and generally seem about a billion times more alive around her than you do around Hook. You're so much in puppy love with her that you get really fixated when she is mad at you, and you constantly bring her things and look like you have just won the Olympics whenever you manage to make her laugh"

He gestures wildly. "When Robin was still around, you would glare at him whenever he touched mom. Every. Single. Time. Once, I mentioned him because I thought it was cool that Robin Hood was around, and you looked like you were going to barf and destroyed our waffle maker. You tethered yourself to the darkness after telling mom she 'had worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed' with tears in your eyes but that was apparently just friendly? Just two people being very friendly and risking everything for each other like good friends?".

He takes one last deep breath. " And I dislike Hook. I didn't want to say anything because you love him, but you two belong together and if one more person ask me whether you've already gotten together or I have to hear one more stupid comment from some stupid person who thinks you are hot, I am going to get my author's pen and write your happy ending myself"

"Henry, you – we aren't- Regina couldn't – sure, she is very attractive, face-wise and funnily even personality-wise and I've – but that's " Emma shakes her head. She slowly looks at Regina. "Regina? Can you help- ".

When Regina just stares at Henry and swallows slowly, Emma bravely tries again. " Listen, I know we have risked our lives a bunch of times for together, but that's just a side effect of living in Storybrooke. And I know there was a lot of invading each other spaces and Regina does that weird thing where she stares at you really inappropriately , but that's .. I have other friends who look at me that way. Maybe. Probably not. And I know I have sworn I would find her happy ending, but that is because she really deserves one because her mother pretty much messed her up and was married to that two-faced jerk and then was manipulated and used by a bunch of shits I still need to punch and- " Emma slowly trails off, then shakes herself. "And I love Hook. I do. I am actually attached to him, and he actually had reasons for the shit he did. Even if I was a dark one as well, and I didn't really give in to any of the dark urges- " for some reason, he doesn't know anything he won't think about why nope , Emma glances at his mom and licks her lips " yeah urges I had. But that's probably all the light magic or something. So uh have I properly explained why we are not madly in love".

Henry just gives her a Regina-like look, the little shit. " Listen- " she looks at Regina again. " Say something?"

Regina shakes her head. "Go to your room. We will talk later".

" Mom. Don't be a coward, okay? She loves you back, I know because everyone knows. There is a whole forum about the newest gossip about the two of you, and I am pretty sure the only ones who don't know right now are grandma and the fly strip himself "

" Fly strip? " Emma questions.

" Because he stinks. Being from a place where people did not know taking baths was good for you, and personal hygiene kind of very important, does not excuse only wearing the one outfit and seemingly brushing your teeth with rum" Henry takes a deep breath. " I am really sorry mom, but it has been ages and you're both unhappy. Also, if he makes one more 'traditional pirate breakfast' I am going to start a mutiny".

He walks over to them, kissing first Regina on the cheek and then Emma. "I love both of you, even if you're really oblivious" he walks over to Robyn's crib, and picks her up. " Come on, we will let them talk"

As soon as Henry is gone, the tension in the room rises. Emma slowly gets up. "Do you want cider? I want cider".

" I thought you preferred other beverages"

"It seems like a cider kind of evening" she gets a bottle and two glasses, but now Henry's stupid ideas are in her head. And they make her go over every single interaction between her and Regina. It just keeps repeating , driving her crazy. And then she finally realizes, Regina's hand holding hers and 'no, but I can give you one', working on operation Mongoose together and seeing Regina laugh and all those other moments

"Shit" she hisses. Luckily, Regina probably thinks it is because of the glass she has just dropped. The one that is immediately restored with a lazy hand gesture by the woman Emma has just realized _she is totally non-platonically romantically eternally in love with_. Shite. And sure, she knew she loved Regina and that she thought Regina was attractive and that Robin was an ass for treating her like that and – oh for fuck's sake .

"Emma?".

Okay, so Emma has fought dragons and hell beasts and darkness. She has been on the ground with an ogre screaming in her face and lost in the past after messing things up so badly that she could've prevented her own birth. So she is used to adrenaline brought on by fear. But this is worse, so much that she actually shakes and spills cider on Regina's carpet.

"Emma?"

 _Okay. You probably need to discuss this. Right?_ She kind of doesn't want to , but then she thinks about how determined Henry was about Regina being in love with her. She feels like running around and screaming at the thought ( in a good way)

She can hear Regina stand up, and probably approach her. And she is a Gryffindor ( despite Henry's insistence that she actually a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff) , so she slowly turns around and faces her. "Is it true?".

" I still have not created that mind-reading device, Emma"

It is probably the most reckless, risky thing she has ever done. " Are you in love with me?".

" That is what Henry thinks".

"That's not an answer" Emma says, thinking holy shit.

Regina swallows. " What does it matter? You have him"

" That's not everything Henry said. He also thought I was pretty crazy about you".

Emma takes another step towards Regina, and another. Regina stares at her, and slowly starts to smile. It's incredulous and hopeful and anticipating. Emma really hates how it is crushed when she stops leaning in to mutter 'wait'

"Right. You are in love, and I am – " Regina laughs bitterly, and Emma holds up her phone with a grin.

"Nope, that's not it" she quickly types something, and turns it around to show Regina. At the top, it just says Hook, with his number beneath it. The thing she typed was **I am breaking up with you( on the grounds of you treating me like crap, and me being in love with someone else more) We kind of destroy each other. You still have your boat, so maybe that's your happy ending? You were right about that one thing btw, thanks ; )** " You are not going to be the other woman again. So, now that I am officially a free woman- oh wait" she grabs the ring and starts to tug it off, except then Regina takes over, and has to burn it because of course.

And before Emma can even finish her eye-roll, there are hands grabbing the neckline of her shirt and pulling her into a kiss that only lasts two seconds because there's blinding light and-

"True love- but there are no curses to break, so why- " this time it is Emma who pulls Regina in a kiss, only pulling back briefly to mutter " Maybe think about magical theory later?".

"Right" Regina agrees with a smirk, leaning in to nip Emma's lips. Emma is kind of proud at herself for not immediately turning this up a notch, as there are two kids upstairs. Instead, she gives as good as got, kissing Regina back hard which turns into a competition because of course until it gentles. Emma sighs into the kiss , and Regina makes this noise she can't even describe but she already knows she wants to hear again, and again, and again-

She wants to suggest they give Henry enough money to spend a couple of hours at Granny's with Robyn when there's an audible click and they both slowly pull away. Emma wipes at her mouth awkwardly, like that means there won't be any evidence. Regina, on the other hand, looks ready to magically start another earthquake, throw fireballs and throw every sharp object in the direction of that click.

Zelena holds the phone up, grinning wickedly. "This is going online immediately " She disappears before the earth starts to shake. They don't manage to catch her, but they still find out what she has been up to later that evening.

On the Storybrooke blog, there is a sudden influx of pictures, posted under idiotsinlove. There is one of the time they fell asleep on the couch, one during bath time with Regina in the tub , one with Emma playing the guitar and looking at Regina (whose eyes are closed as she sings) with this expression best described as 'puppy love' , the kiss and even a close-up of the adoption application they were filling in.

Snow's status has suddenly been changed to 'so excited for the new grandchild!' with a bunch of bird emoticons added to it for some reason. There is apparently an online betting pool, with such lovely reactions as 'no I bet as well that they would start boning sooner, so I win'. A picture of them in their sheriff and mayor garb pressed together, that they had no idea even existed, is suddenly added to the truelovecouples list.

They're everywhere on the internet, and Emma finally suggest they just stay inside for a couple of weeks. In the bedroom. Sadly, Regina doesn't listen. They're still fun weeks, filled with family dinners and Swan-Mills selfies and the comments online exploding when Henry posts "another child coming. Excited to be picking up my new sibling. We will leave town tomorrow " with the caption 'Team Magic Moms'

It's truly a fairy tale, except it isn't a happy ending. It's a happy beginning.

 _ **Sites I used for info about babies/adoption/Spanish/CPR:**_

articles/163933-how-does-the-adoption-process-work

.com

first-year/vowel-sounds/

first-aid/drowning-treatment jemimaskelley/you-monsters?utm_term=.grNr066rV0#.wk3EnZZEPn

post/162789146998/poor-henry-season-sevens-gonna-break-our

0_introducing-solids_


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own OUAT. I hope you enjoy : )**

Emma dumped her car keys on the table, and walked over to where Henry was sitting on the couch. She let the bag in her hands fall, shaking her head when Henry didn't even look at it. Usually, he would immediately want to know what she brought.

She sat down next to him, nudging him with her shoulder. " I got you food. Do you think you could interrupt the important little scowling routine from these past days and eat it, or am I going to gain a few pounds eating both my own and your lunch suddenly?"

Henry shrugged. " I guess so" he replied

Emma didn't comment on the tone, as he had been reacting to anything like that lately. She instead just grabbed their food from the bag and handed him his milkshake and semi-healthy burger. When he barely reacted to the milkshake, apart from a mutter 'thanks' and a very brief smile, she put her own grilled cheese down.

" Henry, you know you can talk to me, right? ".

" You forgot the plates".

Emma rolled her eyes. "I was going to vacuum later anyways "

Henry got up and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing two plates and handing one to Emma. He started eating his burger as if it was spinach, or that one fancy fish type he hated.

" Listen Henry , you have been sullen these past days, which really isn't like you. And at first, I let it slide as you _are_ a teenager and you've the right to be moody or down or whatever sometimes, but now I am starting to worry. So talk to me. What happened?".

" Nothing" Henry mumbled

"Bullshit. You were fine just three days ago and now you are suddenly not smiling or playing video games or bugging me about that new comic you really, really want".

"I am just tired. We have a lot of assignments".

"My mom has already offered to cut you some slack. She is worried as well "

" She shouldn't. I am fine" Henry insisted stubbornly

"Henry, everyone is worried. Archie actually stopped me when I was chasing after pongo to hand me pamphlets on depression, Granny gave me your special order for free and Regina has been an absolute nightmare to work with. I am pretty sure that one official quit, and I have had to constantly message her and stuff to keep her from doing something really drastic".

Henry sighed, and slowly put his burger down. " All right. I don't want to worry you guys, and it really probably isn't that big of deal- do you know my best friend, Jamie?".

"Short kid, spiky hair, constantly asking questions ? "

"Yup, that's her. I was hanging out with her, Violet, Nick and Paige when Nick started messing around. We started talking about crushes and stuff, when Nick said – " Henry flushed slightly" something rude about how he liked both you and mom. And Jamie cut in, and started to make it _worse_ because she said a really stupid thing "he shrugged. " We got into a fight over it".

" So now you aren't talking?".

" Kind of. Jamie has been texting me, but she hasn't apologized"

" What is- " at that exact moment, someone knocked furiously on the door. As if they were trying to break it down really.

Emma rolled her eyes. " It's open Regina, just come in" she had barely finished the sentence when the door swung open, and Regina barged into the room. She looked put together like usually, except for the look in her eyes, which had been the cause of her secretary's break down, the restraining order issued by the parent of one of Henry's classmates and several incidents where people kept referring to her with 'your majesty' accidentally.

Even Emma almost flinched when she looked into Regina's eyes ( who had been glowing with a faint purple glint for days) , but she found it more admirable than terrifying, really. It was a testament to how much Regina cared. Also, it was ridiculous.

"Have you finally discovered who is the culprit, _sheriff_ " Regina said

" Yes, but you have to promise to not approach the same way you did with Jack, because I really don't need another crazed mom storming into the station and screaming at me about how I am apparently so busy 'playing your knight' that I let her son be 'abused'. Really, another parent starting to throw wildly inaccurate accusations my way is not going to end well".

"Fine" Regina crossed her arms. " Now, who is it?"

" Actually, it is fine. I am totally fine" Henry said, trying to smile. It looked more like he was experiencing cramps, really.

Regina looked at him . "You do not have to be afraid, mijo, I will make sure it _never_ happens again".

" Uhm – without any poisoned apples or stuff, right? "Emma said. She knew Regina had changed, but she also knew Regina would always go to the extreme for Henry. And the woman had suggested using a very special curse when they discussed Henry's mood several days ago, and she had been slightly on edge after Regina hadn't laughed with her, just left with a 'make sure you take care of it, or I will' .

Regina threw her a look that probably meant 'shut up'. "Who is it, Henry? "

Henry sighed. "Jamie".

" Jamie?" Regina exchanged a look with Emma, who just shrugged and nodded. She knew why Regina was surprised, as Jamie was always offering to help Regina – clean dishes, setting the table and even taking the trash outside- and was generally a very easy-going person, who loved joking yes but never things that hurt people.

" Yes. We were hanging out and – " Henry hesitated, then withdrew his phone from his pocket and offered it to Regina. " Here. You can read it, and see for yourself".

Regina took the phone and slowly sat down. Henry watched her, while Emma's eyes were fixed on her grilled cheese. She wondered whether this was a bad time to eat it- she didn't like it when it was cold, and it was her favourite food and- she was just inching towards it when Regina looked up.

She looked irritated, and Henry immediately started talking. " I was really mad at her, and we got into this fight obviously, but she really does usually respect and like you. And I am still mad, but I don't want her hurt or anything, and I think I still want to hang with her"

"Milf? What on earth is a Milf?" Regina exclaimed.

Henry frowned. "You don't know?"

" I assume it is some sort of acronym, but I have no idea what it means no " Regina said, shaking her head. She offered the phone to Emma. " You attempt to make sense of that".

Emma quickly glanced at some of the texts, mostly about books and movies, and scrolled to the latest ones. It started with a simple **are you still mad? Come on dude, we are best friends, aren't we?** that Henry hadn't replied to. The next one was a little more annoyed, just saying **didn't think you had it in you to immediately break up a friendship, especially over this.** Henry did reply to that, saying _of course we are still friends, but I want you to apologize. I really didn't like what you said._

The conversation continued like that, with Jamie joking and obviously not understanding why Henry was so upset and Henry starting out very friendly but obviously also upset until it finally said **omg Mills, just accept that your moms are MILFS, so what? And you can't be so stupid that you don't see half of the down looking at them, and THINKING it.**

" Do you know what it means? " Henry said, as soon as Emma looked up. He grimaced. " Because I really don't want to explain it".

" I know what it means, and I although I get what Jamie is saying, she has really crossed a line"

She gave Henry his phone back, and turned to Regina, who shook her head. "I have no idea what it means " she shook her head in obvious irritation " Those letters make no sense".

"Mother I would like to fuck"

" _What_ "

Emma shrugged. "That is what it means. Mother I'd like to fuck ".

" That is awfully crude "

Emma narrowed her eyes. " You seem less upset than I thought you would be"

Regina just arched an eyebrow. "Why would I be upset? Jamie is not the first one to think I am attractive, I am rather used to it. Some of the people in the enchanted forest were far worse when it came to.. expressing their admiration, I assure you".

She turned to Henry. "As long as you do not use such crude language, and do not refer to any women in this way".

" I think he has proven he won't, as he is fighting with his friend over it. And who mistreated you in the enchanted forest?" Emma said, glaring.

" Are you looking to defend my honour?" Regina asked, arching her eyebrow and smiling slightly.

" Yeah. No one gets to speak about you like that, no matter how much they're going crazy about how beautiful you are".

"I can defend myself just fine, Emma"

"I know- I am not questioning your ability to let the creeps pee their pants, I just want to have a talk with people and make sure they know that the mayor isn't to be bothered like this"

" I am accustomed to staring and comments, Emma, I do not think you can change that".

" Why haven't you told me? I could have done something!".

" Most of them keep the comments more or less appropriate "

" More or less? Who are you saying stuff to you, and what are they saying? That can count as sexual harassment, which means I will definitely lock their asses up"

" Emma, most of it is rather harmless. Surely, you have had many compliments as well ".

Emma narrows her eyes in suspicion. " Was it that secretary you used to have? The one that kept asking you on dates? "

" It were multiple people – we are not even here to discuss this. I came here because I was concerned about our son, not to be interrogated".

"Henry is fine, and this is important. You can come to me with stuff like this"

" I know, but I did not feel threatened".

" How often does this happen? Did the butcher say anything, he is always leering at you. Or what about that council member, I could swear I saw her looking at your – looking inappropriately at you. Or was it that nurse- ".

" You are oddly aware of people looking at me" Regina commented.

Emma rolled her eyes. "I am not as oblivious as you sometimes think, Regina".

" That is debatable. At any rate, those people are hardly threats. The butcher is annoying, but he knows better than to take it too far" Regina smirked. " And councilwoman Bonny is actually a wonderful woman "

Emma glared, and crossed her arms . " All right".

Regina looked at Henry, who had been following the conversation with a lot of interest. " Perhaps you can speak to your friend Jamie, dear, and tell her that we both think such behaviour is beneath her. I think it is time to make up after you have made sure she knows better, though"

Henry shrugged. "All right. I will text her, I think she is actually helping at the shelter right now"

As soon as he had left the room, Regina turned to Emma again. " Emma, what is this really about?".

"I just want the people in this town to treat you right".

" You sounded more like a jealous lover than a concerned friend" Regina commented

" I am not a jealous person".

Regina arched her brow, so Emma huffed and exclaimed. " I am really not".

" All right, then why were you so bothered?".

"I am not. I just don't want people to be sexually harassed , jeez'.

Regina narrowed her eyes. " It is more than that. What is it?".

" That's it. That's all there is".

" You are behaving oddly".

" Regina, let it go. I just want you, and every woman in the town, to be treated well okay? "

" Why are you refusing to tell me what is going on?".

" I am _not_ , I just- ".

"Are you concerned I might harm anyone if the comments go too far?" Regina's expression darkened, and she was scowling while her eyes looked really hurt. " Do you honestly think I would- ".

" It's because you're much more than beautiful okay?" Emma blurted. " You're clearly drop-dead gorgeous and you have this insanely sexy voice and all that, but you're more than that. You are smart and funny and caring and they should see that but also _not_ because fuck them for having more of a chance than I with the woman I am in love with".

Emma paled when she realized what she had said. She should've known it would happen eventually, Regina had this way of drawing truths from her, even when she was denying things or supressing them. " I - Regina?"

" You are in love with me?" Regina whispered.

Emma swallowed, then nodded. " Yeah. I don't expect you- " she interrupted herself, and just shrugged.

" Emma Swan, you _idiot_ " Regina said and Emma was terrified because she was crying. But she was also- smiling? Walking towards Emma, with this beautiful expression that made Emma think _I am going to die holy fuck_ nonsensically-

And then Regina kissed her, just gently pulled her towards her and _kissed_ her, and Emma would've thought it was another dream except she definitely felt it when Regina nipped her lip. She immediately kissed her back, smiling at the taste of apple cider and the lips pressed against her and just _Regina._ She might never stop smiling again, she felt that happy.

Except things like oxygen are kind of needed , unfortunately, and Henry is still there, even more unfortunately, so they eventually had to pull back. Regina leaned her head on Emma's, smiling. They stayed like that until Regina wiped her lipstick off Emma's face, and Emma just had to kiss her again and again, until they heard Henry's heavy footstalls and Emma stole one last kiss, to sustain herself through lunch.

Henry looked down at his phone one last time, and smiled.

 **So did operation GetTheSexyMomsTogether work?**

 _I told you not to call it that, and yes it did!_

 **Congratulations Mills, the greatest love story of all time and it only took them forever to realize they wanted each other**

 _To be fair, it also took me some time to realize they were meant together. Mom's actual soul mate existing threw me for a loop_

 **Eh, but they aren't true love. They were about as right together as pizza and yoghurt**

 _I guess so._

 **It was brilliant, using the sheriff's jealousy like that, by the way**

 _Thanks, I remembered how she acted around Robin & decided it was worth a try_

 **And you didn't know then?!**

 _Wasn't sure. More research was needed._

 **God, you are your mother's son you NERD. I love it.**

 _Operation SwanQueen is a success_


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own OUAT. I hope you enjoy : )**

Maleficent roared, claws outstretched and firing turning everything bright red around them. In front of them, a dozen knights screamed as they were roasted, and the arrows fired from the top of the fortress all burned to ash. Lucy was just feeling like everything was going rather well, when there was an earth-shaking (literally) roar and the dragon above them started to fall

She felt her father pull her away, moments before Maleficent crashed into the ground and there was a lot of smoke, and then she was there again, human. She weakly tried to push herself up, but couldn't. They all ran to her, Regina grabbing a pistol she had in the actual _tool belt_ ( Henry couldn't stop glancing at it, even though he had more or less gotten used to this version of his mom) around her middle, and shot the people that were already running towards them with raised weapons.

She kneeled next to Maleficent, who only grabbed her hand and said something. Henry and Lucy were too far to hear it, especially because the dragon's voice was low and soft. They saw Regina shake her head vehemently, and then she was forced to jump back because Maleficent threw a fireball in her direction. When Regina ran their way again, there were tears in her eyes. She accepted Henry's hug with a teary smile, and quickly hugged Lucy as well before starting off in direction of the fortress again.

They immediately knew they were running into a trap when the door opened automatically. So it wasn't exactly surprising, that there were women and men and fairies and so on running towards them. Lucy tried to not worry too much, as she kept to their plan and started running while Regina and Henry fought. She glanced back only once, just in time to see her grandma throw a jab that knocked someone out.

She had to run thirteen flights of stairs, opened at least a dozen doors and finally arrived at right spot. She was in the highest tower, with a very heavy door that had chains running around it, and thorns growing from the wood. As soon as she touched it carefully, it opened to a large circular room, with spare furnishings. She hardly spared them a glance, her eyes on the bed in the middle.

The bed that held her sleeping grandma.

Emma Swan was almost as unrecognizable as Regina; her long hair had flowers woven into it, there was actually glitter on her cheeks and she had on a white dress with lace woven into the sleeves and neckline. Lucy took a step towards her, and was immediately thrown to the ground. Her stomach sank as there was low laughter, and then what seemed like a firefly started to grow and grow until there was a woman in front of her.

" No, that is not how the fairy tale _goes_ " the woman tutted, and strode towards Lucy. " You are not a handsome prince, here to vanquish the dragon and kiss the princess awake. You're just a foolish little girl who thinks she can be a hero "

Lucy stood slowly. " you betrayed my family. Why?".

The Blue fairy smiled. " Because things weren't quite right. Snow made the biggest mistake of her life "

" Yeah, by allowing my grandma to marry someone who hurt her- ".

" Oh, not that, don't be foolish. That was my doing. Well, _partly_ my doing" the blue fairy leaned in with a terrifying smile. " By allowing someone evil, a _monster_ , to join her family. By trying to find a happy ending for an evil queen".

" She isn't evil, or a monster. I read the book, and she sacrifices herself and her happiness again and again to save the rest of my family"

" But that doesn't change it, does it? She is still the evil queen. She has murdered and lied and taken. She is an _abomination_ "

" Okay, so you are a _persona loca_ who hates my abuela"

" Someone like that deserves nothing "

" But you are also hurting Snow and Emma and _everyone_ " Lucy frowned. " Everyone, except- "

" Me" Hook said, behind her. Lucy automatically turned around, staring at him. "You're dressed like a prince"

Hook smirked. " I am. I have a princess that is mine, do I not?".

"She isn't yours! You were mean to her"

" And she didn't accept me " he said. She stared at him, mouth a little open. "What are you talking about?"

"She always wanted me to sacrifice things, to help people, to give up _my_ happiness" he shook his head. " I don't understand how she could be that way".

"She gave up everything for you. She went to the Underworld for you"

" She kept endangering herself, even though she was _my_ happy ending" Lucy wanted to back away from Hook, especially now that he had raised his voice. " I loved her".

Lucy suddenly ran to Emma, her heart racing when she immediately heard Hook unsheathe his sword. She stumbled to the headrest, and quickly pressed her lips to Emma's cheek- the blue fairy laughed while Lucy shook her head vehemently.

"That should've worked! True love- ".

" Ah, but she does not know you. And you don't truly know her. Besides, there is a special kind of kiss she needs"

Lucy stared at the blue fairy in horror. " What have you done " she whispered.

The blue fairy held up a small vial, with glimmering pink liquid inside. " She already cared for Hook, because that is what she is like. But I used _this_ to make sure it would turn into something so much more suitable for my plans".

" Wha- you forced her to fall in love?".

" I made her obsessed with him. It is so easy to overlook a person's flaws when you are in love with them, and it is so difficult to leave them, always telling yourself it will get better or it is your own fault- so it was the perfect solution " she pocketed the vial. "It was made easier by how desperate she is to be loved "

Lucy flinched when the blue fairy approached her, but held her ground with her chin raised high. " Are you going to hurt me now?"

The blue fairy laughed. You could almost mistake it for something genuine. "No. We are just waiting for the more company- " Lucy fought as thorns suddenly pushed through the floor, and grabbed her. She cried out as they were driven into her skin, like tiny needles making her skin burn. "Let me go!".

"Let her go" Lucy stopped struggling for a moment when Henry spoke. She cried out his name, struggling even more fiercely now. They had to get away, before they were hurt. They had to.

Regina stepped forward, making sure to shield Henry with her body. She scowled. "I don't know what you are, but you are going to let Lucy go, _now_ "

The blue fairy smirked. "It is so wonderful to see you Regina. To see you like this" she gestured to Regina, who was wearing a hoody with jeans , a toolbelt, thigh-high soft boots and oil from when she had fixed her motor ( as well as build and attached a thing to it for Lucy to sit in).

"I do not really give a damn about what you think of my clothing "Regina said, shaking her head at Henry when he tried to come forward. She snapped her head back towards the blue fairy when the ground started to shake and she was thrown to the ground, along with Henry. Lucy was kept in the same position, trying not to cry at the pain where the thorns were buried into her arms and legs.

" Oh, I don't care about your clothing, I care about what it represents" Blue said calmly, and leaned down to grab Regina's chin. " Your defeat" she whispered. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut the exact moment Blue's summoned a wand into her hand, and Henry started to scream. Lucy forced her eyes open, and smiled unexpectedly. Her dad's scream was cut off-

Regina had surged forward and punched the fairy. Lucy was a pacifist (her mom taught her that word) but she still had to admit she enjoyed seeing the mean fairy fall on her but and stare at Regina for a moment. She actually had to stifle a laugh when Regina deflected the next attack on her, and punched Hook in his face when he tried to assist.

" Get her "the fairy panted, gesturing so that the earth beneath Regina's feet rose and tried to twist around her legs. Before Regina's legs could be covered in a layer of stone, there was a loud battle scream and Henry knocked Blue unconscious with a hammer. He cursed furiously

" Caray! I meant to hit her with the other end" he hissed

" That would not have stopped her".

"This might kill her, that's worse- "Henry said

" The – watch out- " Regina yelled as Hook suddenly attacked Henry with his sword. Henry quickly brought the hammer up, and he grimaced but the sword didn't break the head. He swung the hammer at Hook-

"You love her!" Lucy screamed, distracting Hook enough that he couldn't deflect a blow that Henry aimed carefully at his chest. Of course, he had armour on so the impact was minimal. Lucy thought it still wouldn't be nice if someone hit you with a hammer repeatedly.

"Lad, what are you talking about?".

"Emma! You love her, so you can't hurt her family. She will never want anything to do with you again".

Hook swung his sword at Henry, who jumped back. "She already forgave me, once. Besides-" he tried to cut of Henry's head, and Henry quickly jumped to the side and struck Hook's chin with the hammer. This was the first time in her life that Lucy thought it unfortunate that her dad was a gentle man, as the blow only made Hook stumble once before surging forward. " The lad is in my way- he is keeping me from my true love".

Regina looked horrified. "He is not, is he?".

" NO " Lucy and Henry both yelled, looking at her with nearly identical expressions. Regina huffed, but she seemed slightly less like she was going to fall over, even with her legs still held in an odd embrace by stone ivy-like things.

Lucy started to struggle even more, then stopped to gape, and couldn't say more than 'whoa' as Regina calmly picked something from her toolbelt, and shattered the stone by hitting it. Lucy briefly wondered whether it wasn't enchanted, like Blue should've at least made it unbreakable but then she decided if grandma muttered angrily in Spanish and glared at her, she too, would rather just break.

She did actually see the stones slowly move towards each other, oddly in a liquid-like way, but then grandma was already in front of her and smirking. She removed something else from her toolbelt, a small vial and smiled reassuringly at Lucy. Funnily enough, Lucy wasn't all the reassured when the plant trapping her stared to emit _smoke_ as soon as Regina turned the vial over above it.

She swallowed a scream, flinching when her feet collided with ground and her knees immediately gave in so she was falling. There were new tears, as everything hurt and she could still see dad fighting and she wanted to run to him and help, but her legs wouldn't let her. _Stupid legs. Stupid. Stupid stupid_ _estúpida._

And then her grandma was there, smelling like smoke and perfume and wrapping her up in a warm embrace. She sank into it, not even caring that Regina was hugging her a little too tightly.

"I have got you, nina, I have got you" Regina whispered, and Lucy stopped trembling. She slowly pulled back, pointing at Henry. Regina slowly turned around, her expression changing quickly as Hook swiped and advanced and Henry obviously tried to block and deflect more than attack.

"Papa doesn't like hurting people "Lucy whispered.

There was a bit of evil queen in Regina's gaze when she spoke " Fortunately, I do not oppose as strongly"

Lucy tried to fight , shaking her head and muttering vehement refusals in Spanish when Regina quickly pushed her down, and made her hide beneath the bed. She couldn't do much though, as every step felt horrible so she finally lay down.

She bit her lip hard when Henry cried out, and stumbled. Her stomach felt like she had gone on a rollercoaster after eating all the candy she could find. Before she could really see what was going on, Regina moved and was in front of her dad. She could see the determined look in his eyes, the hair sticking to his forehead and the high neck of the weird outfit he was wearing- her abuela was _tiny_ \- but she couldn't see the injury.

" You know, lad" Hook suddenly stopped, and threw his hand out. " She can try" .

" What?" Regina snapped, moving forward to Henry.

"Do not lie your majesty, you've always wanted her. You tried to stop me from getting her".

" I have no idea- ".

" I will allow you one kiss, so you know she isn't yours"

 _That isn't fair. She doesn't remember_ Lucy thought. She wondered whether abuela knew as well, and she was just buying time when she agreed after a short hesitation. Regina turned around, and awkwardly wiped at her face – her face that was slightly dirty after several days of travelling. She stopped in front of Lucy, and Lucy quickly wriggled herself out of the narrow space beneath the bed so she could see.

There were smudges on Regina's face, ash and blood and oil. Her clothing was torn in several places, and they were stained from when they had to run through mud ( more like quick sand) and fight people and hide in a cave that probably had monsters in them. Her hair was sticking up slightly, and had dust on it for some reason. Lucy thought she looked beautiful.

" My apologies for doing this without your permission " Regina said, before swallowing and slowly leaning in. Lucy was vaguely aware of a high-pitched shriek, but it didn't matter. The moment Regina's lips brushed Emma's –

She stumbled back as the rainbow light hit her, and heard her father laugh as dizzily and happily as she was. Emma's eyes slowly fluttered open, at the exact moment Regina's widened. They just stared at each other, so much and for so long that Lucy wanted to run towards them and shake them.

Emma slowly grinned. " What's with the outfit? Has the zombie apocalypse come?".

"While you were enjoying your beauty sleep, I was fighting Blue's armies. I assumed that staying alive was more important than following the latest fashion".

"Or brushing your teeth, apparently"

" Miss – "

Emma stood up slowly. " There is dirt on your face, everywhere. Your hair is a mess, you aren't wearing any make-up and there is a t _ool belt_ " she grinned. "It's pretty awesome"

" You- " she bit her lip when Emma took a step forward, and pressed another kiss to her lips. It was slow, gentle and over quickly enough that Lucy didn't feel uncomfortable. When Emma pulled back, Regina gazed at her with the kind of look that proved they had true love.

Naturally, Lucy expected Emma to say something romantic, something profound. She had just shared true love's kiss and Lucy knew their story. She knew it was epic, more epic than myths and legends. Surely, whatever Emma would say, would also be iconic, more iconic than-

" I really want a grilled cheese" Emma whispered.

Lucy stared at her. Then stared even more when Regina chuckled, and leaned in. " And hot chocolate?".

Emma nodded. " With whipped cream, lots of it".

'And cinnamon" they both said at the same time. _Maybe it's a code_ Lucy thought, staring at them as Regina smiled teary-eyed and Emma somehow managed to more or less glow at Regina. And okay, Lucy liked food as well, liked it so much she had decided to install a second breakfast as soon as she was a queen, but she didn't _get_ it.

" You do not understand, do you? " a familiar voice said behind her, and Lucy threw herself into her dad's arms happily. She only pulled back when she realized he was hurt.

" there's blood" she gasped.

" Yup. He hit me with his sword, so- "Henry shrugged. Lucy wanted to scold him for being so casual about risking his life, like momma always did after he got hurt trying to help someone again. Even though that didn't make sense, because momma was the same.

" _Henry_ " her grandma stumbled ( and then casually ripped the dress so she wouldn't stumble again) over to Henry, and hugged him. Her other abuela was on the other side, holding Henry's head and muttering things to him. Lucy hesitantly walked over to them, and grinned when they made a place for her.

The family hug was wonderful, except it was interrupted when Emma literally told her 'who the fuck are you, though?', even though cursing was _bad_ and she grinned as her dad looked the guiltiest she had ever seen him and Emma started snorting and laughing, only stopping to say ridiculous things and her other abuela apparently had a melt-down-which she also didn't get. Except it seemed to be important, because dad threw an arm around her and gave her his special smile as he told her he would 'always need her'.

It was pretty great, being a part of such a ridiculous but loving family.

Yeah, pretty great

(like Granny's and grilled cheese and hot chocolate)

( like family dinners)


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own OUAT**

It was just another day in the Swan-Mills household. Emma was singing under the shower, leaving a trail of dirty clothes from her morning run. Regina was trying to yell over the very loud music, before walking down the stairs tying the sash of her robe angrily. Henry was dragging himself upstairs five minutes late, wiping his eyes and only opening them when he arrived at the kitchen and accepted a mug from his mom. And then the habitual chaos was interrupted by Lucy running inside.

Regina slowly turned away from the kitchen counter, and stopped the usual complaint about some of Emma's habit that was really more for show, and Henry stopped hiding his grin behind his cup of cappuccino. Lucy grinned at them both, panting.

She held up the animal in her hands like she was presenting it as the rightful princess/prince of the animal kingdom. " Look, I found a cat" she proudly announced.

Regina stared at the cat. "She is a handsome specimen " she stated, and Lucy nodded happily. " But I will not tolerate cats in my house, nina"

" But grandmaaaaa" Lucy said, holding the tabby cat up again. It looked utterly unimpressed by that, although it didn't once try to fight itself free.

" No. I already have enough work with your other grandma, who needs to be fed and cleaned after as well, and my job. Ask your father" she nodded in Henry's direction and went to work again. Lucy immediately ran to Henry, and placed the cat on his lap.

" Look papá, it is so amazing. It is really smart, and understands us" Lucy raved, petting the tabby cat that was sitting stiffly on Henry's lap.

He looked down at it. It was looking at Lucy, who kept gently petting it. Oddly, it wasn't purring or moving or doing any of the things cats usually did when you petted them. "Is it really that smart, pequeño Guerrero?"

Lucy smiled. "It is so, so smart papá"

Henry returned the smile. " It is, huh?" he carefully petted it, once. "All right. I think- " he was cut off when Lucy threw her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek happily. She kissed the cat on its head as well, then happily said 'come on, Jane Austen, we are going to show you to other grandma!"

Henry stared as the cat gracefully leaped off his lap, and followed his little girl as she walked out of the room, happily chatting to the cat. He slowly turned to his mom. " Is that normal cat behaviour?".

" Is what, mi cielo?" Regina said, sliding another pancake on the tower that was on a plate next to her.

" Just- it seems kind of different, and we actually do know people who were turned into mice. So should I check whether it is all right?".

" I did not feel any residual traces of magic, but I will admit I did not pay the utmost attention" Regina said, turning around to smile at him. " I will look at it as soon as Lucy and Emma have joined us for breakfast".

Henry grinned at her. "Thanks mom" his expression became a lot less carefree. "I don't ever want to risk her getting hurt".

"I have a son with the same taste for adventure and foolish heroics, so I know the feeling" Regina said drily.

Henry just grinned. "I know him. He gets all that from his mom"

Regina tried to look stern and unimpressed, but her eyes were glinting. " He does take after the sheriff in that way, yes".

" Nope. I meant his other mom, the totally badass queen and mayor for nearly forty consecutive years"

"That is ridiculous. She would – "

There was suddenly a loud yell and a sound not unlike a body falling and a mirror shattering. Regina and Henry shared the exact same look of fond exasperation (although Henry's was a lot more amused). Regina handed Henry her apron, and walked out of the kitchen. She marched up the stairs, and into the bathroom.

She was unsurprised by the sight.

Emma was on the ground, wrapped up in the shower curtain like a rather sheepish caterpillar. To the left of her, there were pieces of glass that she would glance at and flinch. In front of her was Lucy, the cat cradled close to her chest and with an expression Regina absolutely agreed with.

"She started screaming and wouldn't stop" Lucy says, looking down at Emma. "Are you okay, abuela?".

" I WAS NAKED" Emma said

"Mi alma, you have never shown any qualms about being naked before".

" SHE IS OUR GRANDDAUGHTER. I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE THAT"

" Look at Jane Austen" Lucy said, more or less shoving the cat in Emma's face. Emma sneezed, and was so surprised she finally stopped yelling. She looked at Regina, then looked at the cat, then finally at Lucy.

"Jane Austen?".

"Si. I first wanted to name her after a superhero, like maybe wonder cat, but she is so graceful and smart so I decided on a writer"

" All right. You got a cat, and decided that it didn't matter you would give me a heart attack as long as I saw the cat" Emma muttered, face-planting.

Lucy beamed. "Isn't she _extraordinaria? "_

Emma lifted her head, and forced a smile. "Sure. Can I get dressed now?".

Lucy nodded. " Sure"

Regina kissed her forehead. " Just go downstairs, bonita, and help your dad with making breakfast" she nodded at Emma, and lowered her voice "I will take care of your foolish abuela"

Lucy shrugged. " Okay" she smiled at Emma. "Bye abuela! I hope you get out of the shower curtain, it's really not a good look" and then she and the cat left.

"I blame you for how much she acts like a little queen sometimes" Emma groused, pushing herself up.

Regina snorted. "The girl engages in mud wrestling, refuses to use a saddle when riding and just yesterday pointed out all the 'pretty toxic flowers' that were in the forest. That is not exactly queenlike behaviour"

Emma grinned. "Of course it is. You behave like that" at Regina's look, she shrugged. " Maybe not the mudwrestling, but you love horse riding and I am pretty sure you started her obsession with toxic flowers. Also, you have a bunch of stuff you secretly love but pretend to hate"

" I will inform Whale immediately of your concussion"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Just help me get up".

" Although I am not certain whether vivid hallucinations and stupidity can be caused by hitting your head. Perhaps is just the Charming heri- "

" Regina, cut it off" Emma groaned.

" You broke my mirror, and you still haven't cleaned anything. Your muddy tracks are still in the hallway, your sweaty clothing is strewn through my room and - "

" I fell, can't you even be concerned about that?".

" Not when it happens every two weeks, ma patosa, and you still somehow manage to not anticipate it".

" Not like this- and really, can we do something about Lucy? Can't let her wear a bell, or something".

" Get up, darling" Regina said.

" You can at least ask nicely'.

Regina waved her hand to fix the mirror and started walking out of the room. " Suit yourself. There is an abundance of greasy food downstairs, but I am sure we can eat that without your help".

Regina was only barely out of the room when she heard Emma struggle to get up behind her. She rolled her eyes but also smiled when she heard the furious cursing behind her. Usually, Regina actually had a fouler ( and swear words that were more creative than the 'fuck' Emma preferred) mouth, even if she showed it only in certain circumstances, but Emma could give her a run for her money right now.

She walked into the kitchen with a bright smile that grew even more when she saw Henry point out things and calmly answer the stream of questions Lucy was firing at him. She shook her head when Lucy would command Henry to wait so she could tell the cat she had placed on the counter next to her what exactly Henry was saying.

" How many times have I told you that my kitchen do not function as chairs?"

" But they are comfy" Lucy protested.

"I very much doubt that" she said. " Get off my counter, Reinita"

Lucy shrugged, and jumped off the counter. " I like knights better, abuela".

Regina smiled. " Yes? "

Lucy nodded. " I wasn't sure for a long time, but now I definitely think knight is the best option"

Emma choose that moment to walk into the kitchen. " Because your badass grandma is a knight?".

Lucy shook her head. " Knights don't have to dance" she said happily.

Regina arched her eyebrow. " You love dancing".

" I love modern dancing and ballet " Lucy said, demonstrating. Emma clapped happily, and Regina smiled brightly. Lucy plopped down in her chair after her demonstration, grinning. " I don't like the dancing at balls".

Emma grinned and sat down as well. " Don't like your greatgrandmother hear that" she said

Regina smirked. "Actually, do tell Snow" she and Snow were very close, but they still seemed to enjoy aggravating the other just slightly. Or maybe , in Snow's case, it was just kind but slightly(really) oblivious behaviour. On the other hand, you would expect the woman to know at least part of Regina's dislikes, considering they had lived together for ages. And really, Emma could've sworn her mother was smirking when she surprised Regina by building that birdhouse in the garden without permission.

Lucy giggled. " Okay, abuela. Can I wear one of your dresses to the next ball?"

Emma choked on her drink, while Regina sat down regally and picked up her fork calmly. " Why is that? "

Lucy shrugged. "Greatgrandma is really nice and I love her, but we don't really share the same clothing style"

Regina smirked, but Emma interfered before Regina could say anything. "Believe me kiddo, you don't share Regina's clothing style either. Or at least I hope you don't ".

Regina used her special voice, the one that meant Emma only had to make one more little mistake and Regina would destroy her happiness. " And what is wrong with my clothing?".

Emma swallowed the gargantuan bite she had just taken. " I love your clothing, especially the things you wore as queen- well most of it, the feathers are just weird. But do you really want her to wear anything like that?".

Regina didn't answer, and Emma happily continued eating as she knew she had answered correctly. "I have a dress I could alter in some ways so it would be more your style" Regina told Lucy, who smiled brightly and immediately tore into her pancakes. There was silence for a while after that, as most of the people around the table were too busy stuffing their faces to talk ( and after that one incident Regina had gotten a mouthful of pancake in her face, speaking with a full mouth was strictly forbidden)

Because this was the Swan-Mills family, the tranquillity didn't last long.

Emma was taking a break from eating to tell a funny story and happened to gesture wildly to show just how difficult it had been to capture the illegally kept 'monster' as mrs Irwin kept running after her with a cane, insisting it wasn't dangerous. She was gesturing so wildly, that the jug next to her, as well as the salt, her own glass and the syrup fell.

Regina immediately held up her hand, freezing all the falling objects. Emma smiled at her and mouthed 'sorry' and continued her story as Regina levitated all the items away from Emma. She was just lowering her hands again, and turning in to Emma's story when there was a loud, panicked call and she felt something move in her hair.

Emma immediately jumped up. "Damn it, not again " she muttered, striding over to stand behind Regina.

" I- ".

"Don't roast the messenger, Regina. He can't help it that he is disorientated".

" Snow has trained him, I _know_ it. She has taught him all the way to surely aggravate me, knowing I cannot just snap the – " she looked at Lucy, who was staring at her with wide eyes, and deflated. " Get the thing out of my hair'.

"Mom, just use magic" Henry said when Emma was still carefully trying to untangle the bird from Regina's hair. " Fine, fine" she took a step back, and flipped her hand. There was a small puff of smoke, and the bird appeared in her hand.

She narrowed her eyes. Anyone who spent time with Snow, learned at least to recognize bird species, as Snow insisted it was important to know what kind of bird your messenger was ( even if you didn't even use birds, because cell phones existed) so you knew what to feed them. "A _robin_ " Emma growled, looking down at the bird.

She quickly glanced at Regina, already thinking of ways to tell her mom to never do this again, when Regina smirked. " Did you anger her? ".

" Maybe" Emma muttered, realising she was actually more likely to be annoyed by this than Regina. Of course, Regina missed _that person_ , but she didn't seem as hurt by it as she was constantly surrounded by family.

As Emma refused to give her mom the satisfaction, she quickly wrote a note – **know what you're doing, not working. Also, answer is still no** – and sat down again. Things were just calming down again when-

The tabby cat in Lucy's lap jumped and grew. Grew and her features twisted, a tail disappearing, whiskers vanishing, fur receding, paws growing. Until there stood a stern-looking woman with her hair in a tight bun , and bright green eyes.

Regina couldn't save all the things that were dropped this time. She was too surprised herself.

* * *

Emma groaned, and tightened her hold on Regina. " Make it stop" she groaned against Regina's neck, as doors were slammed and people were running and an excited voice kept yelling "we are going to Hogwarts, we are going to Hogwarts!"

Regina slowly started to pull away, or tried to. Emma was still spooning her, and only tightened her grip when Regina tried to move away. Regina stopped fighting Emma's grip , as she knew Emma was physically stronger than her, and she didn't want to use magic. Yet.

" You were the one to start it yesterday, mi alma. _I_ suggested that we went straight to sleep, instead of indulging in other activities".

"Hm, but you enjoy it so much when I convince you " Emma grinned. "And I wasn't the one who started that last bit, the- " .

" Emma, Lucy might not immediately connect the dots, but Henry most assuredly will know what it means that we both naked".

Emma closed her eyes, and buried her face into Regina's shoulder " So? I will just tell them to stay out of the room, so we can stay like this for at least ten minutes".

" Emma, we have a _schedule_ ".

Emma partly opened her eyes again when they both heard those footsteps running towards them. " Regina, don't you- " Emma shrieked when Regina easily transported her beneath the shower, the shower magically turning on and raining cold water down on Emma. Regina lazily transported herself in the bathroom as well, with effectively cut off Emma's angry rant.

By the time Lucy went running into the room and jumped on the bed, Regina left the bathroom. She was still trying to convince Regina to jump on the bed as well when Henry and Emma joined them. While Lucy was still talking, they creeped up on Regina and managed to get her on the bed as well, which was when a tickle fight was immediately started by Emma. Regina groused when they all left the bed, but she was smiling brightly and quieted when Henry threw his arm around her to kiss the top of her head.

Of course, she still complained a little when they had to run through the airport because they were on the late side, but her mood improved again when Emma got into a heated discussion with an airport official that wanted to search her (it's a fucking belt that made the thing go off, it is right _here_ ). By the time they were through security, there were at least two guards that needed a vacation as well, especially the one that had made the mistake to frighten Lucy.

The rest of their travel was far less uneventful, apart from Regina reacting to her first flight perhaps. They didn't even have turbulence, and both the landing and picking up the luggage went as well as could be expected. They quickly arrived at their destination.

Professor McGonagall was waiting for them, talking to a bartender before turning around and striding in their direction. "I hope your travel was pleasant" she said.

Lucy nodded, Emma shrugged and Henry smiled. Regina was the one who answered. "It was fine, although those airport officials are complete morons".

Professor McGonagall's lips twitched. " I do prefer our ways of transportation to the muggle ones"

Lucy eyes brightened. " Could we travel that way next time? ".

"I thought you liked the plane, Luce" Emma said.

" Well yeah, but I want to try everything".

"We will see" Regina said, and turned to professor McGonagall. " Where are we going?".

"Diagon alley. Follow me, please"

Lucy kept pointing out everything, from the odd clothing of people around them to things levitating. Henry smiled and chatted with her, answering her questions with the ease of someone who is used to being asked another question each minute. Regina made small talk with professor McGonagall, sometimes glancing at Emma and smiling as she noticed Emma was doing the thing again, the thing where she was on high alert and studying everyone to make sure they weren't a danger to her family.

Lucy squealed when the professor tapped the wall, and it moved away, immediately wishing to know how it worked. She shut up shortly after that, too enchanted by all the shops and people and animals around them.

Regina quickly took her hand when her granddaughter almost ran off without them. " Keep with us , dear" she said.

Professor McGonagall turned around. "Welcome in Diagon Alley. I will show you the shops, and help you figure out wizard money. People will probably stare at you, as you are dressed as muggles, but that will be solved by a trip to Madam Malkin's robes for all occasions. Do you have any questions?".

Lucy threw her hand in the air. " Can we buy an unicorn?".

" No. Unicorns are endangered creatures and are not meant to be kept as pets"

The stately witch started to walk, and they all followed her. Lucy hugged Regina, then tugged her hand free so she could walk next to professor McGonagall, who was startled when Lucy grabbed her hand.

Lucy smiled at her. " My abuela says I can't walk in a strange place without someone holding my hand. It's so I don't get lost"

" Your abuela seems like a sensible woman".

" I think so. Why do you need a wand? "

It was just the first of many questions. While Lucy questioned everything, from the practicality as well as beauty of witch' robes to whether quidditch was the only sport witches had, Emma tried to take Regina's phone.

"We are on a holiday, so don't try to run the town from here" Emma said gently.

" It is nothing connected to my job, Maleficent is just informing me when she and Lily will be coming as well'.

Emma pursed her lips "Oh"

"Professor McGonagall seemed very interested in their ability to shapeshift into dragons".

"I suppose that is more impressive than being the saviour".

Emma's tone had Regina looking up from her phone, and arch her eyebrow. " I thought you and Maleficent were on friendly terms now"

Emma shrugged. " We are.".

" Then what is the issue?".

" Nothing".

"Emma- ".

" All right, all right. It's just- " Emma looked the other way. " You guys have a lot of history, and I know she still really likes you. And she is pretty impressive".

"We may have formed a friendship again, but neither of us wish for anything else. Besides, you have a wrong idea of what we were".

"You were girlfriends" Emma said, a muscle in her jaw twitching. Whenever she saw Regina around Maleficent, it always struck her how familiar the two were around each other. How they seemed to know each other.

Regina laughed. " No. She was my teacher and I confided into her, as she was in a similar situation to my own. And yes, at a certain moment- " she lowered her voice, careful to make sure Henry or Lucy couldn't hear " we were having sex. But at that point in my life, when I started giving in to darkness more and more- " Regina shook her head. " We weren't girlfriends. It was more complicated, and it was certainly nothing like you and I".

" Yeah, I _know_ "

Regina grabbed Emma's hand when she started to pull away, looking at Henry as if she was thinking of an excuse to leave. " Emma. If I did not want to be with you, if I weren't very happy with what we have, I would not be with you. I have been stuck in several dissatisfying relationships and I do not want that again" she squeezed Emma's hand , then let it go. " You do not have to doubt us, because there is no one else that I want. Just you "

Emma swallowed. " I love you" she said, and suddenly hugged Regina tightly. Regina smiled and allowed Emma this moment to compose herself, to hide part of what she was feeling. They slowly separated, and were just leaning in when a throat was cleared.

"Your family is already inside" professor McGonagall said.

"Thank you" Regina politely said, before nudging Emma and giving her a look.

"Uh thanks" Emma said.

Professor McGonagall offered them a brisk nod, and they followed her inside. " Why do I feel like we are being led to the principal's office ? " Emma whispered. Regina ignored her and walked into the room. Her eyes immediately lit up, and Emma sighed.

"We are going to have to fit stuff , aren't we?" she really was unlucky to be the only one of the family we didn't like trying on clothes, or letting people poke her as they adjusted clothing. Well, Lucy didn't enjoy it as much as Regina and Henry but still. She was all alone in her boredom and loathing.

Fortunately for Emma, dress robes weren't the only things they bought that day. She also felt a lot less like making up an excuse to check out the joke shop she had heard about when Regina asked her to come into the dressing room and give her opinion on the dress robes she was wearing ( it included a lot of enthusiastic kissing, and the professor's unimpressed look as she caught them, _again_ ). Then they actually left for the joke shop, and even Regina spent a small fortune on several items. She bought skiving snack boxes, dung bombs and self-writing quills for Emma while she bought certain items for herself that Emma didn't even need to know the purpose of, as she was innocent as she long as she didn't know what kind of things Regina would use to torture prank her mother with.

The other shops were just as much fun. Emma finally convinced Regina to allow her to buy a broom after a lot of arguing, grovelling and promises ( and kisses), and she and Lucy were pretty much screaming about that for hours. after a lot of arguing, grovelling and promises ( and kisses), and she and Lucy were pretty much screaming about that for hours. Regina actually bought a wand, and they had to more-or-less pull her and the other little nerd (Henry) away from the wand shops' s owner, who happily told them all about wand theory.

Lucy officially deemed it 'the best day _ever_ '


	5. Chapter 5

_Who are you? Not your titles, such as daughter. Princess. Girl. But who are you. Not characteristics, such as stubborn, empathic, unyielding, intelligent. But who are you. If there was one word you had to answer this question, what would it be?_

Emma was the oldest child of one of the four royal houses of the Expanded Empire ( stupidly , according to Emma, named by the emperor who expanded it, so it crossed all the horizons). She was the daughter of the heads of the house of Cupitor, which made her a princess and first in line for the throne.

Right now, she was bored out of her mind and definitely annoyed by her mom.

Her mom was happily dancing with lady Ariel, somehow managing to keep her bright smile in place even though Ariel kept stepping on her toes accidentally. Next to them, Emma's dad was dancing with Eric and laughing heartedly at something he had just been told. Emma envied them, as she didn't have any friends amongst the royals , nobility and all the other guests.

They just didn't share her interests ( their family doctor would mention that Emma was very closed-off and that this was a factor as well, but screw him). Unlike her guards, who enjoyed flying beer and went with her whenever she wanted another pet dragon for any of the castle children, and who actually thought her jokes were funny and not rude at all.

She missed her guards, but _apparently_ the princess of the royal house that hosted the Great Gathering had to be present on all evenings of the event, at all times, and couldn't even spend one dance with someone she actually liked. Not that she hated them. Her mother might say she sometimes feared Emma actually hated the royals and nobility, but she just didn't really get them.

The tone changed, going from slow-and-romantic to dizzyingly-fast and she saw stifled a snort when she saw Ariel immediately stumble and slam into Snow. She took the opportunity to slip past her parents, and disappear into the crowd. She veered quickly right, away from the exit she had had her sight on, when she saw him.

He was standing on the side, scribbling in the book he was supposed to use for lessons but she knew he was always writing down other things in. Obviously, the courtiers had dressed him as well, as he was even wearing a simplistic crown.

She threw her arm around him casually. "Still not fond of socializing, kid?".

"Mom!" he exclaimed, grinning at her for a moment before looking at what he was writing again. " I did actually talk to people, but no one wanted to talk about magical theory".

" That's because you are weirdly knowledgeable in it. Like, you are making all those adults feel bad because you're so much smarter".

Henry bit his lip. " Oh"

" You aren't arrogant , so it's their fault that they can't take it that a kid is so much smarter than them".

Henry shrugged. " I am just interested" he swallowed. " They're a lot better at actual magic".

" You're great at magic".

" I am good at one _discipline_ of magic, and there are dozens".

Before Emma could think of anything to say, he looked up at her. "You are good at least six of them, grams at three and grans four. Most people are good at three of them, but I am only good at one. Why?".

Emma shrugged and shifted on her feet awkwardly . " We don't know. And you know that".

He nodded, and looked at his notebook again. " Why does sir Rumple ask me who I am? I think that's a weird question".

" Oh, that is some crap about the basics of magical study knowing who you are. There is a group of scholars who think that if you know who you are, and are like comfortable who you are, your magic will be strong. But if you attempt magic when you don't know, or when you have tried to be something you're not, then your magic gets all messed up" Emma shrugged. " Hasn't been proven".

" It has not been disproven either" Henry muttered.

"That's true, I guess".

Emma looked around for several moments, fidgeting. " Would you like to dance?" she finally asked.

" There are at least three people walking this way to ask you to dance".

Emma nudged him. " But I just want to dance with my son".

"You like dancing. Why do you never dance with them?".

" Because.. because"

" Is it because they keep doing weird stuff? Like the time that person tried swallow your mouth, or the time the other grabbed your but for some reason? Or the time that the pretty man went on his knee, and had his bard serenade you?".

Emma grimaced at the reminder. "Yup"

Henry sighed, then petted the air above his shoulder. With a soft purr, his dragon Bruce became visible and nudged his cheek. He giggled, then handed him the notebook. " Can you keep an eye on this for me ?"

With a soft little growl, and after carefully- lest the little hooks on his tongue injured his human- licking Henry's cheek, Bruce took the notebook in his mouth and flew away. He waved his tail in a goodbye, then disappeared again.

" Remind me why I thought it a good idea to give you a dragon capable of camouflage again?" Emma said, thinking of all the stuff she would've done if she had had an invisible partner-in-crime.

Henry grinned. "Bruce choose me"

" Yeah, I remember the godawful sound the thing made when we were going to leave the market, and not buy him".

" _Mom_ " Henry hissed, glaring at her. Several people looked at them oddly as he stopped in the middle of the dance floor. She gave them a quick smile, then turned her attention back to Henry.

" Fine, I am sorry I called him a thing again"

" We don't know whether they are a he, mom"

" You named him Bruce".

"So? Names aren't for girls or boys or whatever, _everyone_ need names"

" E- fine, I am sorry I called them a thing again"

Henry slowly smiled. "And?".

" I am not going to risk my life for- "

" There is someone coming this way, and they're looking at – " .

" OKAY" Emma quickly lowered her voice when she saw Snow was dancing closer to their spot. " All right- I will get their special snack".

Henry curtsied to her, giggling. " The person behind you is looking really disappointed"

" Good" Emma muttered, curtsying as well. She got a look at the person Henry was referring to when they had to turn around as part of the dance. It was a pretty lady, and Emma would have gladly danced with her, weren't it for the fact that no one seemed to be able to be normal around her.

So she was stuck dancing with her son, or parents.

Dancing with Henry was actually fine, as he just talked about magical theory with her and even tried to smile at her jokes. It helped that he didn't talk about things like true love like someone ( cough _mom_ cough) or nearly break her toes ( _Dad_ wasn't always the best dancer). So Emma was actually kind of having fun-

Right until the moment the crowd parted and the excited chatter dropped.

Emma gently pushed Henry behind her when the reason for the sudden hush walked forward. The first one was terrifying enough usually without the mask covering her face right now, the raven one with the actual feathers. The crest of the Adamator house seemed to actually be painted with blood on her dress, and several people made signs to ward off evil as she passed. Her gloves were long, decorated with black diamonds and thin enough to see the little purple veins on her arms.

Behind her, there was an equally terrifying lady.

Her mask was that of an owl, and the crest was painted on the beak of the owl. It almost seemed as though the owl was ripping into a tiny dragon and she heard several pet dragons in the crowd make distressed noises. This lady had long gloves as well , although hers were a stark white and decorated with golden leaves.

" They're late" Henry whispered behind her.

She tightened her grip on him. " They always are"

" Grandma says it's because they spent the first part of the evening disguised, so they can spy on people".

"Or they just like to remind people they're so important that everyone should wait for them"

" Grandma isn't smiling. She always smiles at guests".

Emma gritted her teeth. " Not these people" she whispered back.

"But- "

" _Later_ , Henry"

When there was silence through the official proceedings, where both the heads of the royal houses exchanged gifts with each other and thanked each other (for hospitality and generosity), instead of Henry's usual chatter, Emma sighed. "They can hear. I will tell you more later, okay?".

"Okay"

Emma's stomach dropped and she muttered a quiet 'shit' when Snow's odd smile ( it kind of looked like her expression had frozen in the middle of a yawn) finally dropped and the music changed again. " oh fuck fuck fuck fuck _tits"._

She heard several people behind her gasp, and Henry asked " Mom? What is it- why are all those people looking so shocked, what's going on" his tone getting more and more annoyed the longer she didn't answer.

" The dance " she muttered, staring as Snow led Cora to the dance floor. Behind them, Charming's usual smile had been replaced by a terrifying glare. And then _she_ was walking towards Emma, and maybe Emma hadn't sacrificed to the gods enough, and maybe she had made too many jokes with them in it and maybe she even had punched one of them in the face-

But fucking _please,_ make her stop.

Yeah, the gods were probably laughing their asses of. Those jerks, she was going to ask for returns of all the sacrifices she had ever had to make. Several choice insults were in her mind as she stared at the gloved hand that was offered to her.

" Uh hi" she said, trying to sound friendly and not like she wanted to slap the woman in front of her and make a run for it.

" It is a good thing your family has adequate magical talent, as they seem to be rather sparse in the intelligence department" the jerk said.

Emma straightened, and her smile turned into a fierce scowl. " It is a good thing you guys have so much money so you can bribe people and don't have to worry about your personality issues" Emma snapped. " It would probably kill you guys to be nice".

" Have you skipped all your classes in etiquette, or do you just naturally have the manners of a cavewoman?".

Emma grabbed the hand, and squeezed it as she started walking towards the dance floor. She expected the woman to keep complaining, but instead nearly yelled as the woman's free hand grabbed her bicep with so much force that Emma's eyes actually teared up a little.

They started dancing. The owl mask was creepy, the woman kept fighting with her about who led and somehow, even though Emma couldn't properly see her eyes, she knew she was face-to-face with a disgusted scowl.

Emma hadn't felt this good about dancing with another person in ages.

Some of the woman's insults were even funny and Emma might hate the woman, but gods it was the best to dance with someone who didn't think they were being subtle about wanting to get on their knees for you, in whatever way you wanted, and were being desperate and way too forward. Emma just rolled her eyes, and felt drunk in a really good way when the woman started getting more and more irritated after each eyeroll.

" Your _son_ is pitied for – " the woman's smirk was first cut off by Emma's grip on her wrist tightening, then by the screams and darkness that were suddenly everywhere. Emma didn't care about the damn etiquette, and immediately ran for where she knew Henry was. She saw cat eyes glint everywhere around her, as anyone with even the slightest talent for morphism had obviously immediately chosen an animal with night vision.

She changed her own eyes to a cat's, and bowled people over in her desperate attempt to get to Henry, hug him, chide him, kill the entire fucking Adamator house, hug Henry and run away from all this political bullshit.

Her heart slowed, then tripled when she spotted a familiar figure- right where her son was, right where her smart, kind, curious son was- reaching for him- she waved her hand without thinking. Everything went really quick after that.

The Adamator bi woman was pelted with steaming cheese, and Henry screamed. An arm wound around him from behind and started dragging him, and Emma _howled_ as she ran towards him with her sword drawn. Bruce came from the shadows, shrieking as they attacked the abductor again and again and-

Henry was gone.

 _Gone._

Just _there_ -almost there and then-

Gone

* * *

Emma had heard horror stories about the Adamator house.

They were supposed to be vicious, murderous and empty. It was said that they kept Shadowlings in their moat and that , if there was any flesh left at all, they send the bits of flesh back to the family with a few gold coins. They supposedly murdered people only so they could use their corpses.

Worst of all, they used _Animus_ magic. Everyone knew that was the darkest, and most corruptive, force of magic. That using it tainted you. That its prize was far greater than all the other disciplines of magic, and that no one should make it principal discipline. And yet, the Adamator house was famous for its magic users, all specialized in the same thing-

It was why they wore gloves. As soon as they had used it too often, their very touch would be tainted. Emma knew the stories of those who had annoyed Cora, head of Adamator, and their hearts would stop as soon as her fingers even brushed their skin.

So she knew how they were monsters, but she didn't know they could be weirdly human.

Emma still hated Cora's daughter, hated her for murdering and practising the worst kind of magic. But as soon as they had decided that they couldn't solve Henry's ( and Cora's, although Emma still thought Cora was the abductor) disappearance if they argued constantly, Emma had started noticing the tiny ways in which her travel companion was human.

She talked to their horses, quietly and almost kindly. She allowed dragons to sit on her shoulders, and even nestle in her hair. She offered Emma the water bottle as soon as she noticed the other woman was thirsty. Emma took notice of all the tiny moments, and remembered them.

Right now, the other woman was shivering very slightly and Emma slowly took off the cloak she was wearing and handed it to her. " Here"

" I am fine" she refused

" Okay, but I am a little hot so unless you want me to dirty it by laying it on- "

" Oh, just give it and _spare_ me your pathetic excuses" she snapped, tearing the cloak from Emma and wrapping it around her.

Emma ignored the tone and the words, and pretended like she had just been thanked like a normal human would do after they had received anything. " So, you know I have been thinking".

" A novel experience for you, certainly"

" And you know my name. But I don't know yours".

"Names hold power".

" You need _full_ names to cast spells on people, so you can tell me one of your names".

"You already know what house I originate from"

" Okay, but calling you mrs Adamator or Mills or your majesty feels weird"

" Mills?".

"It is a custom in my kingdom to refer to people with the name of their kingdom. As yours is the kingdom of Mills, I could call you Mills".

"Just call me your majesty, or rather do not speak to me at all".

"We have to speak, we're not going to be able to avoid that. What about… a nickname?".

" No. I will not allow you to have any power over me ".

"Nicknames can only be used for mutually beneficial spells, such as exchanging messages only- " .

" I reckon I am far more adept in magical theory than you are, so you can quit explaining".

Emma glared at her, and jumped up. " Fine. I will get water for the horses" she stalked away angrily, knowing she had done the right thing. Better to walk away than punch miss No-name in her face. Better to do _something_ , then be insulted and mocked, only because anything was better than thinking about what might be happening to Henry.

When she sat down again, she stared into the fire unhappily. She was tired, but sleeping would mean that nightmare again. She tried to empty her mind, to cast fire spells as she sucked at them and thus needed a lot of concentration and that way she couldn't think of how one of the best things in her life was _missing_ -

" What were you saying about nicknames?"

Emma slowly straightened, and the little flames she had dancing on the edge of the campfire died rapidly. " I thought you already knew everything".

The pain-in-the-posterior next to her just arched an eyebrow, which Emma knew was as good as she would get. "All right. So they're for small things and you can't really misuse them, because it's used for sending messages only you two can see, or automatically drawing a hot bath when someone needs it. Stuff like that. So nicknames would be safe".

"Fine. I agree. We will both think of nicknames for ourselves".

Emma snorted. " That is not how it works"

" This how it works" high-and-mighty decided, and it was so _obvious_ that she has been groomed for the role of queen the moment she was born.

Emma just shrugged. " Okay" she thought for a moment, unthinkingly prodding the emblem on her sword, the intertwined swans with their quill and sword that were her crest- " Swan. You can call me Swan" she decided.

Her majesty nodded. "All right" she drew herself tall, and Emma inhaled sharply as the smell of ash and smoke worsened and she suddenly felt like she was wrapped into a warm cloak as well. " From henceforth, I shall call you Swan" the woman said, which wasn't really a spell but roughly worked the same way.

Emma smiled at her. " Your element is fire".

She got an eye-roll in return. " My principal element is fire, yes"

"I could have known. So what's your nickname?".

" You may call me Mills, I suppose"

" All right" Emma swallowed, then allowed her own power to rise. She felt the usual lightness, like she was going to fly away any moment and the wind picked up so her hair got everywhere. There was intense feeling of energy, of drinking twenty cups of coffee and staying up all night. " From Henceforth- I call you Mills" she said.

" Your element is air" Mills said, quietly.

Emma nodded. " Yup. Really appropriate " she said. If they had been friends, she would've told Mills about all the times she tried to run away, about how felt trapped into the castle as soon as she had explored all the secret passages. About convincing a dragon to take her , into the air, higher and higher, until she finally didn't want to run anymore.

But they weren't friends.

* * *

Turns out, the forest can be the creepiest thing ever.

Emma had always thought that were Shadowlings, or the things that you can't see but you can hear them coming closer and feel them but they will only get closer until they sink their claws into you, or her drunk parents-

Nope, it is a semi-sentient forest that is pissed off at you for some reason. It's thorns growing to the size of horses suddenly, trees opening their trunks and showering you with moving, screaming slime, leaves changing into little men and women that try to pull your hair out, roses pelting their suddenly venomous leaves at you, insects coming from all sides at you to crawl over your body and try to get into your skin-

Emma is ready to hug a Shadowling after this fucking shit, and it is only her son's face that keeps her relatively sane. Next to her, Mills is firing spells rapidly, setting roses on fire, turning the air into a shield, turning the air into a quickly rotating blade, starting a ring of fire that explodes to the right and left whenever anything tries to crawl or walk towards them-

Emma thinks she is doing rather well, right until the moment she makes a very weird sound and stumbles forward. When Emma reluctantly follows where wide, wet eyes are looking, she nearly drops her sword. There is a young man, a boy really, clutching his heart and muttering a name over and over. There are rows of dead bodies, some that look like they're sleeping but plenty that have horrifying scars and injuries. There's a man with a crown, hands outstretched and saying 'it's your duty' over and over.

There is Cora Mills, and she changes every moment, and it gets worse every moment.

"Mills?" Emma mutters, but the normally stoic woman is completely out of it. She looks simultaneously terrified and pained and it freaks Emma out so much that she loses control off her magic and three trees are blasted away.

"MILLS" Emma screams, takes one look at the chaos around them and the look on her usually unshakable travel _buddy_ and lifts the woman next to her off the ground, and in her arms. She doesn't even look at the reaction, just sprints and allows her magic to make her go fast enough that all the arms and teeth and slime can't get to her.

She only stops at the very outskirts of the forest, and gently puts Mills on the ground again. By this time, the woman is recovering slightly and looking at her with an expression that speaks of detached body parts in Emma's immediate future, so she quickly steps back.

"Sorry. I just- maybe I need to- " she finally just shrugs, groans and gives up. She falls down on the ground, looking at the sky. " what was going on with that damn forest?".

When she doesn't get a sarcastic comment or haughty explanation as answer, she looks at the frozen woman again. She is staring into the distance, and she is shivering even when it is no longer cold. They haven't worn Emma's coat in ages, weeks at the very least.

"Uh are you okay?".

She nods jerkily. " I- "she shivers again, and Emma reacts without thinking. It is an instinct borne after more than fifteen years of honing her gift. She grabs Mills' bicep and squeezes gently. Mills looks down at it, and blinks

" What are you doing?".

" Do you know what my specialty is?"

" No" Emma actually feels her stomach flip unpleasantly when there is still no trace of sarcasm.

"Tug your sleeve up"

Regina stares at her. " Have you forgotten- ".

" You're still relatively young, right? So your touch can't be that tainted yet, not enough to immediately immobilize me at least" Emma tries to look nonchalant. " Besides, I have had worse in practise".

" I doubt that"

" What is your taint anyways?".

" It is serious enough to hurt you"

" Don't care. Come on- do you trust me?"

Emma curses herself at the stupid, and shy why _shy_ , question but Regina just stares at her than slowly starts to tug her sleeve up. She offers Emma her arm, who takes a deep breath and grabs it tightly. Her magic immediately flares up, like it was waiting for this, and maybe it was. Maybe it was, because the way Mills relaxes and slowly begins to smile-

Emma could stare at that for a while.

" What- "

Emma tries to ignore how her panic suddenly feels muted, and she is a little more aware than usually how beautiful her enemy truly is, how her eyes are this perfect shade of brown, and there is this lips scar she- " My specialty is emotive manipulation. I only have to touch people- and I can make them happy".

" What else can you make them?".

" Anything, I guess" Emma doesn't know why she says it ( fuck. She totally does know. Fuck) " I can make them enjoy themselves in my bed, a _lot_ "

Miss 'fucking perfect hair and eyes' just arches her eyebrow, although Emma could swear she heard the woman's breath catch a little. Then there are warm brown eyes slowly dragging their way down Emma's body, and she nearly chokes on her own spit.

" What is the side effect?".

" Uh side- ".

" Magic always has a prize. What price does your magic have? ".

Emma swallows. She hates that part of it. " People around me- because I have used the specialty a lot- some of them are affected when I am not even touching them. And they're just really weird around me".

" You are hiding part of it"

" I- " Emma seriously doesn't know what she was going to say, but then miss 'lips and lip scar and full _lips_ ' waves it off. "Do not bother. I understand why you would keep it to yourself"

Emma really hates her stupid mouth, and her even stupider inability to see people ( and especially women) be down or in pain or whatever Mills is. " I uh get depressive episodes. And uh I am _really_ impulsive. Which- " she swallows, then forces it out. "often translates to stuff like jumping into bed with people, because I just get- " she gestures.

It's weird, how they're enemies and Emma still gets a seriously pretty smile from the woman. She slowly pulls her hand back, but the smile remains. "That must be very difficult"

Emma shrugs. They're both silent for a while, and Emma really wants to go for a jog or better yet, jump into a river. But she doesn't, she just sits there and grits her teeth and tries to feel the hatred she usually feels. Because she hates the woman sitting quietly next to her. Right?

 _Right_

* * *

Emma has decided to punch another god, or possible the Fates for doing this crap to her.

She will start with Rumple though, who took their son because of a fucking _prophecy_ , when everyone knows those things are the most unpredictive, misleading bullshit in all the ages. A prophecy that said their son would be 'his undoing' whatever that even means. She is going to do worse than punch him.

Henry struggles on the altar, bound not only with chains but also a half dozen spells and guarded by a mean-looking giant beetle. He screams at them, face dirty and terrified but also determined and _brave_ , and gods Emma loves him so much.

They retreat behind the rubble again, waiting for the next spell. She looks at her friend ( they're definitely friends now) and her _friend_ looking terrified is a sure sign of the apocalypse so they're really in trouble.

" what are we going to do?".

" Save him, destroy that imp, bring him somewhere he is safe" her _friend whispers_.

" Okay, good. Uh how?".

The woman next to her looks completely indifferent, apart from her eyes. Her eyes are terrified. Emma looks down at the hand on her arm, the one that is no longer gloved. _She_ should be terrified. "Regina" she whispers.

"What?".

" My name- it is Regina. If- I wish to be remembered like that. As _Regina._ Not the queen" .

And then Regina kisses her, and it is definitely not like any of the other two. This isn't a kiss between enemies, when they're both drunk because it's so cold (they're out of their mind with worry), one that ends quickly, with them pressed together for warmth. It isn't a friendly kiss, to distract someone who is near a panic attack, they're so worried about their son.

It's a _hello_ and _there you are_ and _yes, you, you_ and _goodbye_ and _I loved you._

Emma is reeling from the kiss when Regina is already gone- running towards the danger. Emma nearly jumps up, screaming and tackling Regina and dragging her back, when she glances at Henry. And she understands. Fuck, she understands.

She runs towards Henry and it is almost easy. The spells are drained, the caster's attention and energy elsewhere, and Emma is a worried mother with a lot of raw power. Less than a minute later, Henry is in her arms. Pale, sweaty and with blood and trace residues of magic everywhere, but _alive._

His bottom lip trembles. "Re-Regina?" he whispers

She shakes her head. " She- she did a really brave thing, Hen- ".

He struggles in her arms. "No. No, she promised! She promised she wouldn't leave"

He gives up fighting, sobs. "She _promised_ "

"Promise she had to- " she turns around with Henry in her arms at the scream. She almost surges forward ( but Henry, she has to think of Henry) as she spots Regina, hiding behind stubble with blood and dirt and _more_ blood. Before Emma can think or yell or do anything really, the miracle happens.

Regina surges forward, and wraps her hand around Rumple's hand. He has just enough time to glance at it, and sneer, before there is stone wrapping around his hand, arm, chest, and legs until there is a statue instead of a man.

Regina slowly stands, and Henry starts to struggle in Emma's arms so she finally puts him down. She keeps her arms around him though, until she is sure he is stable enough. She follows him as he starts to run.

He runs into Regina's arm, practically barrelling into her and hugging her tightly. Regina's hands, trembling, slowly settle on his shoulders.

Nothing happens

The house of Cupitor (seeker + similar to Cupido)

The house of Occisor ( also a link with the occult? Trying to raise the Death - what if James was raised from the death or they're trying)


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own OUAT.**

There were several reasons Regina did not like it that her son and sister were bonding. She could be a nice list of it actually, titled _reasons why my migraines are increasing in frequency_. If she had told this with her monthly appointment with Archie, he probably would have jumped at the idea as the man had an obsession with making lists.

Her list _reasons why my migraines are increasing in frequency_ would look like this.

Zelena's influence on Henry seems greater than vice versa

A2. The pest in her house had managed to convince Henry to participate in several pranks, which were amusing when Snow was the target or Mulan, but insufferable whenever she was the target

Henry thought it absolutely necessary to introduce 'auntie Z' to all the movies and TV series, especially the Disney ones

B2. Regina was forced to join the film nights, which meant enduring Zelena's comments

B3. Her sister now made constant references to that infernal Disney movie about Regina herself, such as saying 'magic mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all' if Regina as much as walked past a mirror

B4. Her sister hid a new Disney-related gift in her house every few days and once, Regina had even woken up in a nightshirt with the evil queen( as well as Maleficent) on it that definitely had not been what she was wearing when she went to sleep

Zelena was addicted to horror movies , which she found hilarious, and now liked to imitate things from them.

C1. Regina's TV had been blown apart when Zelena had gotten it into her head to enchant it so it seemed that the pit girl from the ring was coming from it

C2. Regina and Henry were constantly on edge, as Zelena's horror creatures could jump out at any moment

Her sister had no regards for privacy

D1. She had asked Regina several questions about Regina's search history, which Zelena shouldn't know about and definitely should not joke about to Henry

D2. Bath time was not the right moment for Zelena to walk in and try to rope Regina into a discussion she was having with Henry about which comics could be considered canon and which couldn't

D3. Zelena didn't knock when she entered Regina's room. This could get _very_ awkward

D4. Her sister in only a very short towel, trying to steal Regina's favourite shampoo, should not be what Regina woke up to

Things might have been better between her and her sister , and still getting better each day, but that didn't mean Regina accepted all those things from Zelena with a smile. _Emma_ might find it amusing, but Regina would slip and accidentally murder her sister one of these days, and they couldn't have that. She had gone without murdering someone for years, and she would have to start seeing Archie weekly again if she slipped.

And that was just unacceptable.

She was massaging the side of her head to lessen her headache and hopefully finally being able to focus on the request in front of her again when the door opened, and her best friend walked in. Emma didn't have a sister wreaking havoc and being more work than a small child living in her house, but she somehow looked about as tired as Regina herself felt.

Still, she smiled when she held up the take-out bag from Granny's. Regina gave a small smile back, and waved her hand so that Emma's chair moved back and Emma could sit down on it. Two glasses appeared on her desk, after on it levitated to a corner of the room. Plates followed, as well as napkins.

" How is it going?" Emma asked, vanishing the glasses with a small grin and handing Regina her root beer. Regina rolled her eyes, but decided to just accept it lest she got involved in another vanishing competition, like the last time. She wasn't really looking forward to Emma accidentally vanishing her blouse _again_ , and avoiding her for a week.

" As well as can be expected" Regina groused, drinking her root beer.

Emma put her grilled cheese, and Regina's salad on the plates. " Is it the paperwork, the stupid complaints or your sister?".

" All of them, honestly"

Emma hid a grin, rather unsuccessfully. " You've got to admit though, Zelena is kind of funny".

" Invite her to move in with you, and see whether you still think that".

" She is doing better though, right?".

" Emma , you are supervising her … _redemption_ with me. You already know how she is doing".

Emma shrugged. " Yeah, but I don't have that much time because- " she cut herself off, and quickly changed the subject. They didn't really talk about Emma's marriage. "So apart from the pranks and the various attempts on Hook's life- " .

Regina was the one to hide a grin this time. " She did not attempt to murder him, she merely transformed him into an orangutan".

" And tried to sell him to a zoo".

" She has no form of income, as the establishments in this town do not wish to hire her".

" _Regina_ "

" Redemption never goes smoothly. If you remember, I made very grave mistakes".

Emma's scowl immediately disappeared, and a vaguely panicked look replaced it. "Don't beat yourself up- we did dumb shit too".

Regina knows Emma is probably thinking of that disaster with the dreamcatcher, or maybe just taking Henry away from Regina in general. " I did not make it easy to believe me, and you thought you were protecting Henry".

" Still. I understand it now – what losing Henry feels like, and the kid was miserable as well. He just pushed it down"

Regina's heart starts racing, and she can't control her expression properly. She wants to look indifferent, or at least something appropriate, something _friendly_ but instead she just knows she has that stupid look she gets sometimes around Emma.

(But then, Emma's eyes are so gentle and there is small, sad smile and it is almost enough to get Regina to believe she isn't alone in this godawful _pining_ )

Emma pushes at her grilled cheese for a moment, then quickly changes the subject. " So uh anything else I missed, any tornado's or time spells or whatever?".

" A tornado is hardly something you can _miss"_

Emma makes a gesture. " Small tornado's ".

" Small- That still constitutes an enormous force, capable of picking up your beloved metal coffin on wheels and finally destroying it. I doubt you would miss _that_ "

" I thought Robyn had displaced signs of magic"

" Yes, but those were more small storms than tornado's "

" Should we do something about that? I mean, if she already can do that, it's only going to get worse and she can't control it".

" I have already protected my house".

" what about the town?".

Regina sighs. " We can enchant Robyn's buggy, so that any magic she accidentally starts will be contained and stopped".

" Sounds good"

Emma happily tears into her grilled cheese, quickly swallowing and taking another bite. Regina nudges the napkins her way, earning herself an eyeroll like usually. " So- " Emma swallows her next bite at Regina's arched eyebrow " did anything else happen?".

Regina shakes her head. " No, just the usual. Although – "

" Although what?" Emma says, between sips of root beer.

" My sister has arranged a blind date for me".

Regina gasps and stares at Emma when she is showered with root beer as Emma does a spectacular spit take. " _What_ "

"Miss Swan" Regina hisses, wiping at her face. Emma's odd expression vanishes as she realizes what she has done, and she quickly rounds the desk with her hands clutching several napkins. Before Regina can stop her, Emma is trying to wipe the droplets of root beer of Regina amidst apologies as well as snorts.

" Why would Zelena do that- can we even trust her, what if she like arranges a date with a monkey?"

"Is the poor saviour traumatized from her relationship with _another_ monkey? " Regina says, showing way too much teeth as she smiles.

" That's not funny, Hook isn't – totally different things, Regina".

Regina sniffs. " If you _were_ to date another flying monkey, I would think it an improvement. The worst you can catch from them is flies, while your _pirate_ – "

" He doesn't have any STD's, you know I had him tested".

"That is a – _miss Swan_ " Regina even forgets to make a snarky remark about Hook when Emma's hand suddenly are no longer on her face, but on her chest. She looks down, then at Emma. She almost smirks when she sees Emma has frozen, and swallows for a moment. There is another look, one of the ones that sometimes makes Regina think she isn't alone in her feelings-

Then Emma shrugs and says " There was root beer there as well".

" How on earth did you manage that? " Regina says, looking down at herself. Emma is actually right, as her blouse is slightly wet and she can feel little droplets glide down her neck, and into her shirt.

Emma shrugs. " So – who is Zelena setting you up with? "

"The term blind date suggests I do not know, Emma "

" Do you want me to find out, so I can make sure it isn't a creep?" Emma smirks. " Or that they are at least human"

"As long as they do not like rums, boats and have good personal hygiene, I will be fine".

" Am I really supposed to believe _forest guy_ had good hygiene?".

Regina stiffens, and glares at Emma. " At least he brushed his teeth".

" A true stellar guy" Emma says drily.

" You have no right to judge, miss _Jones"_ they both freeze. Emma hasn't asked why Regina still calls her Swan, and Regina hasn't questioned why Emma looks happy with it. Now they know why, as Regina looks angrily heartbroken and Emma –

Emma just looks lost.

" Hook changed for me, and we're happy"

Regina could counter that, there's so much she could say. She could remind Emma that Hook tried to kill everyone, tried to kill _Henry_. That he has hurt Emma so many times, that he didn't believe her, didn't trust her. That they lied to each other and ignored each other's wishes. But if Hook is what Emma wants-

" I know you love him" is all she offers.

Emma nods, and Regina knows what is going to happen. Emma is going to walk away, and go to that goddamn pirate. " Zelena feels guilty"

" What?".

" The blind date. It is Zelena's way of apologizing about what happened with Robyn, and Hades".

Emma snorts. " What? My boyfriend tried to kill you and everything, but here is a blind date so you can feel better? ".

Regina sighs. " I argued against it as well, but - " she looks down. " It would be nice to have someone".

"You have your family. You have Henry and – " Emma shrugs, then quickly says " Snow and David and everyone. Me "

" I know, and I am very grateful for that but it is different" she hesitates.

" Why? What's it?".

Regina wonders whether she should say anything.

"Trust me " Emma says

Regina swallows, then takes a deep breath. " I adopted Henry, because I needed something _more_ in my life. And he was everything I could have hoped, and I love him. But I really- "

" You want another child?" Emma doesn't sound surprised, not even a little bit.

" Yes. I am thinking of adopting another child, and I could obviously raise them on my own again but I do not necessarily want to "

Regina's heart is racing again, but it is for an altogether different reason this time. She has been thinking off this for a while, and has even already had a long talk with Henry about it, but she had been hesitant to tell Emma.

Before she can find out whether Emma's reaction would be everything she hoped, everything she feared, or something in the middle, the door to her office opens. Regina's secretary gapes at them. Regina can't blame her

Emma's hands are still pressed to Regina's chest, somewhere during the conversation they both started to lean in and their expressions – well. Safe to say, all parties involved are uncomfortable. Emma quickly stumbles back, tossing the napkin at Regina with a smile. Before Regina can explain anything, Emma is taking her grilled cheese with her with a promised 'we will talk later'.

If her secretary weren't so competent, Regina would possibly fire her.

* * *

 **Turn on the TV! The good morning Storybrooke channel.**

Regina is understandably confused when she receives the text from Emma, especially since Emma knows she is probably struggling to get Henry out of bed, as Emma is rather familiar with that particular fight.

 _Why?_

 **Just do it, trust me**

Regina sighs, and looks down at her son. He is laying on stomach, hugging his pillow and refusing to do more than groan and grouse at her. If he would actually be able to see Regina's expression right now, he would quickly roll out of bed and sprint downstairs.

But alas, he doesn't see her expression turn very 'evil queen'.

He certainly feels the cause of it though.

" _¡Qué mierda! " he screams, nearly falling on the ground in his haste to get away from the small rainstorm above his head. He immediately turns and faces her, an exact copy of her own glare on his face._

 _" Go take a shower" she commands, walking away from the room and stopping the rainstorm with a snap of her fingers._

 _" I THINK THE RAIN ALREADY TOOK CARE OF THAT " he screams_

 _She just chuckles, and goes downstairs to the kitchen. As soon as she enters it, she summons a small TV and turns it on with a flick of her wrist. She leans against the counter with a cup of coffee, which she immediately drops as soon as the TV is turned on._

 _" Good morning Storybrooke!" her sister says cheerfully, over the sound of what suspiciously sounds like muffled words. Regina mutters a curse, and mentally adds 'breaks into a TV studio and possibly ties the actually presentation up' to her list._

There is another sound of muffled words, and she sees Zelena kick something (someone?) with a scowl and a hissed 'quiet'. She quickly smiles again. " One of your hosts wasn't feeling well, so I got to replace him! And his less insufferable and _smarter_ colleague is here as well , to help me. "

She smirks at Goldie locks, who looks understandably weary. In fact, she nearly falls of her chair as she trying to subtly scoot away from Zelena " Aren't you?"

" S-sure- " she says, with a pained smile. " You were v-very clear about that, miss wicked witch".

Zelena smiles, and cackles. Goldie locks almost jumps of her chair( Regina has told her sister that she shouldn't _cackle_ but laugh, and this is exactly why) " Zelena is fine, sun shine".

" It is Goldie locks actually"

Zelena stares at her. " Goldie – are you bloody Rapunzel?"

" Eh, no. I am Goldie Locks, from the- ".

" Whatever" Zelena straightens in her chair and looks into the camera. "Today , Storybrooke, is your luck day. This morning's program is completely dedicated to finding my dear, dear sister a date" .

Goldie locks blinks. " Madam mayor is approving this?".

" _Approving_ isn't the right word" Zelena says.

Goldie locks looks rather pained, but still manages to keep smiling. Regina thinks that is admirable. However, it also means this has gone on long enough, and it is time to stop her sister. She waves her hand, meaning to transport to the studio-

"What" she growls as nothing happens. After ten times and ten fails, she finally gives up and stalks out of the kitchen- or at least that is her plan, except then she suddenly feels a familiar warmth and only barely manages to avoid walking into an invisible barrier.

"That's it. I am revoking her magic rights, until the end of time" she mutters, and turns back to the TV. Goldie Locks has apparently resigned herself to being Zelena's partner-in-crime and seems her usual cheerful self. Regina squeezes her eyes, but she can't be sure whether the woman's smiles are faked.

She texts Emma while she follows the program.

 _You will have to solve this issue on your own. I cannot leave my house._

She nearly drops the phone and throws it at the screen when it fills with a picture of her. It was of her several months back. She is wearing a suit and tie, and the first three buttons of her shirt are open. She is grinning at something, the exact opposite of the emotion she feels right now.

That picture was taken without her consent. She is locked in. Her sister has probably kocked someone out. She is going to make her sister _pay._

Another picture, of Regina in- one of her evil queen dresses. Which she definitely didn't pose for, so how the hell did Zelena get that picture? And is she really stupid enough to think that people would possibly want to date her after a reminder of who she had been?

" I am glad you didn't wear that dress to Emma's wedding" Henry comments, walking inside the kitchen.

" What?".

He nods at the picture. " The dress. That's the one you wore to grandma's wedding, right?" he grins at her. "It would've been cool if you would have interrupted the wedding the same way, but I really don't want to see that dress".

She tries to walk out of the kitchen, hoping that Henry's arrival means the spell is broken. She glares as soon as she feels the barrier, and throws a fireball at it. She gives up after trying four more, and leans against the counter.

"I have done some research, and my sources say you've got to name good characteristics of the person you are trying to find a blind date for so I started with the obvious. As I am sure you leering hypocrites know, my sister is attractive".

Zelena sighs theatrically. "Sadly, my sis isn't just looking for one-night-stands, although I know she _desperately_ needs it, so if you just want to lay one of her, you probably don't have much of a chance"

Regina's foul curse makes Henry stare at her, but she doesn't pay him attention. She is too busy staring completely horrified at the TV screen as Zelena smirks wickedly and says " However, I _did_ make a special account for people just wanting to taste my sister's forbidden fruit"

" That is not even meant to be sexual" Regina protests.

Henry snorts. "Yeah, right".

Regina gives him a warning look. He just grins and kisses her cheek with a ' _¡_ _Buenos días!, mom"_ _,_ _and helps himself to a small mountain of pancakes. He munches on them as Zelena has Goldie Locks dictate a number_

 _"You know, I really never wanted to think of this" he says calmly_

 _"Do not worry, mijo, I will kill my sister for talking about a_ _private_ _part of my life on TV" she assures him._

 _Henry just continues serenely eating his pancakes._ On the TV, Zelena winks. " So dearies, I will try to change my sister's mind but it's probably not going to happen. So other good characteristics- Rapunzel, do you want to do the honours?".

" I am not Rapunzel – " .

" Yeah yeah, just name some characteristics my sister has that make her good dating material".

"Oh, I don't actually really know madam mayor all that well- ".

Zelena sighs. " I have to everything, don't I? All right. She is smart, funny and makes delicious food. She seems to enjoy taking care of people, and is a gifted witch" Zelena says this all like she is pulling her own teeth out, but it is still rather sweet. Regina almost forgives her, when she says the next thing.

" She is _obsessed_ with Star wars, which she never admits but I have been in her closet. She is also addicted to several TV shows, and has _horrible_ taste" Regina vows to destroy her sister's happiness, redemption be damned.

Zelena looks at Goldie Locks. "Are you finally make yourself useful?".

Goldie Locks actually dares to glare, although she quickly drops it. " If you are interested in dating mayor Mills, you just have to call the number that will appear beneath me. You will be contacted by her sister for a blind date".

The camera zooms in on Zelena. " So if you're under fifty, attractive, of reasonable intelligence and not a munchkin or royalty, please call this number. Don't bother calling if you hate children, healthy food or fireballs".

Regina suddenly gets an idea. She might still be unable to leave, but her phone works. She quickly punches in the number.

And that is how the entirety of Storybrooke gets treated to a fight between Regina and her sister.

Zelena's plan still has, somehow, worked. Regina is now the proud owner of no less than 85 'booty call numbers' ( as her sister referred to them when she threw the book they were written down in at Regina's head) , a sore voice and a new date outfit, courtesy of Zelena and Henry.

"I had to go with her, to keep it appropriate " he says, when she asks him why he would subject himself to this

" I do not trust Zelena, but I do trust her fashion sense" she says, as it is true that her sister usually is dressed well.

Henry gives her a look, and looks down at his phone. He doesn't even say something, just shows the pictures to Regina.

" Henry, why am I looking at a prostitute's clo- why is that nurse outfit- that is _not_ how batgirl looks".

Zelena walks in, pouting. " Those outfits would've been amazing"

" No, they would have been ground to arrest me for impropriety" Regina protests.

" See, horrible taste" Zelena comments

Regina looks at Henry. " Can I even trust her to choose the right people for these blind dates"

Henry smiles at her, and kisses her cheek. " I will be supervising"

Regina slowly exhales. "All right".

She never sees the twin devious look exchanged between Henry and Zelena.

* * *

 _Eagle 2, what do you think?_

 **I am at school eagle 1**

 _Don't be such a hero._

 **You haven't send me anything. Kind of hard to have an opinion on NOTHING**

 _Description: dad of one, loves nature but also likes to stay indoors and watch TV. 40 years old, athletic and trying to get a masters in marine biology._

 **Mom doesn't really like camping and such. And the marine biology thing might make her think of Hook. I am surprised you thought about setting her up with him**

 _You told me to only send you the boring ones. My choice was the pretty blonde who included lap dances in her description_

 **Gross!**

 _I am sure your mother would enjoy that more than someone who can make her some weird fish dish_

 **Stop talking about that, that is my MOM you are talking about**

 _Prude. What about this one: forty-two, mother of a grumpy teenager, a horrible cook but very good at cleaning, likes to read, speaks multiple languages._

 **Oh my god, send a picture**

 _Why?_

 **I think it is the mom of one of my classmates.**

 _Well, in that case she is a total MILF._

 **Not cool! And where did you even get that word? Urgh, it's like listening to Nick**

 _One of those brats got into trouble for calling your mom that while Emma was behind him_

 **What? WHO?**

 _Your mom already took care of it. I didn't know golden girl could be so .. wicked._

 **It's her.**

 _Who?_

 **The picture, it is the mother of one of my classmates**

 _Do you think Grumpy McMayorpants will like her?_

 **Your nicknames are weird. And yeah, I think so.**

 _On the small pile of yesses she goes!_

 **Anything else? Grandma is looking at me disappointedly.**

 _Can't we let her in on the operation?_

 **No! My moms would know in like a minute, and then operation Happy Ending will fail.**

 _Fine. Should I sort out the rest myself?_

 **Okay, but don't choose anyone YOU like. My mom and you look for different things in people.**

Of course, Zelena still picked someone who Henry wouldn't have, which ended with the rather scarring moment where Henry is dropped off by Emma and they almost walk into his mom _pressed against the wall,_ with her date pressed against her, _kissing_ the other woman.

The only good thing is Emma's reaction.

It is almost worth it

Twelve blind dates, three fights, a mistletoe incident and one divorce later and operation Happy Ending _still_ hasn't succeeded.

Emma is actually staying with them, after her rather bad divorce and the consequent realization of 'what the fuck have I turned into'. They have family nights and outings and Regina has even started the adoption process, but they still haven't figured it out. Emma is in therapy, again, and she still seems completely clueless that she has feelings for Henry's other mom.

This is why Henry and Zelena meet at his castle, in the middle of the night as Zelena claims that it is the proper way to do it. Henry shivers in his wonder woman pyjama's and glares at her

" Couldn't we have gone to the farm house or somewhere else it is warm?".

"No. So what is the next stage?".

Henry sighs. " I don't even know anymore. We could wait?".

Zelena swats him. " Don't be stupid! "

" I don't want to wait until they figure it out, but nothing has worked. And they're trying to adopt another child, _together._ Surely that must be enough to make them see they're not only friends? "

Zelena and Henry share a despairing look. They both know better.

" I can't believe my sister is so oblivious. I can understand _Emma ,_ but Regina as well?".

Henry shrugs. " To be fair, I think mom knows she is in love. She might even know ma is totally in love with every part of her. I think she is just scared, because she keeps losing people "

Zelena makes a disgusted sound. "What are we going to do about that?"

Henry throws his arms into the air , and falls down dramatically. "I no longer have any ideas".

He nearly falls of the castle as Zelena leans over him, startling him. He stares at the flashlight in her hand. " Where did you get that?".

" I have two ideas left. But we will start with the one".

It is a true sign of desperation that he doesn't think about stopping her when she says , with a very wicked, and more than a little insane, grin " enchanted mistletoe".

* * *

He hangs the mistletoe in his mom's study. It ends with her kissing Maleficent, rather enthusiastically, and Henry threatening to write Zelena 'the crappiest story ever' if she doesn't stop recounting it to him. He hangs the mistletoe in the library, because he knows when his moms will be there and what book they will need. Grandpa spends a week placing mom on a new curse every day ( just minor things, like her hair changing colours or her voice becoming squeaky) and Belle can't look at her without blushing for a week. He hangs the mistletoe in the dinner, and Regina and Jefferson spend an entire day beneath the mistletoe before he accepts Regina's apology and gives in.

Regina locks herself at home, and refuses to go outside. This lasts several days, and Henry still has to find something to convince his mom that she can leave the house ( or that she can let him stay at home as well, instead of having to go to school) when he receives the text.

 _You have such a bloody brilliant aunt, little hen._

 **Please don't call me that. And why?**

 _I managed to lock love bird 1 & 2 in a closet with enchanted mistletoe. _

**So they can literally come out of the closet?**

 _I knew you would get it. They seem to be enjoying themselves, so maybe we've finally succeeded_

 _Never mind._

 **What happened**? Henry only gets to reply when class is over, as his grandma had decided to actually follow protocol and make him hand in his phone. They're now walking to Granny's for their Friday night family dinner, and she is softly scolding him for still being busy with his phone.

 _Sis' hair was all rumpled, and our saviour had lipstick all over her face but THEY DECIDED IT WAS JUST SO THEY WOULDN'T BE TRAPPED THE IDIOCY IS STRONG IN YOUR MOMS_

 _I am so annoyed I am referencing that stupid film_

Zelena does indeed look very annoyed as Henry walks into Granny's and sees her next to Regina, with David and Emma across from her. There is already a chair from him, and he sits down it while Snow kisses her husband and sits down next to him. Zelena keeps sulking throughout the entire evening, which is why the conversation immediately stops when she suddenly smirks.

Regina lowers her drink, and narrows her eyes. " Zelena what is- " as soon as she starts coughing, Emma is by her side. Snow leans forward and David leans in as well. Regina tries to wave them off, but she is coughing too furiously.

" What- " it sounds really unpleasant, Henry notices " have you _done_?".

" A potion of confession "Zelena says, smugly.

Regina's head shoots up, her eyes widening. " What does that do? " Emma asks, glaring at Zelena like she hasn't since they were enemies.

"What the name suggests, _saviour_ ".

Regina stands, but before she can use magic, she slams her hands on the table and curses. Snow grabs David's arm, Charming and Emma both threaten to lock Zelena up for the night and even Henry is worried when there is blood coming from his mom's mouth.

" Don't fight it sis " Zelena voice is almost gentle.

Regina tries, because of course she would , but eventually it rushes out. " Emma and I are sleeping with each other".

Zelena's almost-gentle expression vanishes. " WHAT?" she shrieks. "I have helped little hen parent trap you and you were already- ".

" I love you" Regina admits, her eyes closing. Henry is kind of pissed at Zelena, because this might be going too far. With the enchanted mistletoe, people had to at least be attracted to each other for it to work .

Regina looks at Emma. " I do not even know when I fell in love with you. You were this intruder in my town, stealing my son's affection and ruining everything I had sacrificed my father for. And then you saved my son and broke the curse and- you started working with me and you didn't give up on me. And then you _cursed_ me"

Mom's voice actually breaks. " I could not stop loving you, not even when you were endangering our son by running off for someone so unworthy of you- you idiot"

He thinks his ma thinks it, but grandma is the one who actually says it. " Why didn't you tell her? "

" Because I do not deserve Emma" she never looks away from Emma. "I am the reason for all that pain you went through, and all the fighting. Without me, you would not have been an orphan or the saviour. Every single one of your friends have suffered, because of me"

Emma laughs, and slowly stands up. " Regina, you idiot, _you_ are my friend" she says, tears slipping even as she smiles at Regina. It's shy and awkward and Regina looks at that smile with the usual pining expression. "I uh am not really good with words. I didn't really know at first, and then I thought we were just friends and I didn't want to ruin that – but I already told you"

Regina is closing herself off, obviously thinking she is going to be rejected and Henry thinks it is heart-breaking. " You are not making sense, miss Swan".

Emma slowly exhales. "I already showed you I am in love with you as well. I thought I was being pretty clear actually, but – " she shrugs, self-deprecatingly. " I guess I shouldn't have been a coward, and actually said it. But after the divorce- I wasn't really- you deserved something better than that".

Regina takes a step towards her. " You are an idiot " she says

" I think we can safely say we're both idiots" Emma says.

Regina slowly leans in, and kisses her. It's short and gentle and Henry can see them smile into it. When they pull apart, Regina leans her head against Emma's and Emma reacts by tentatively hugging her. They don't let go after that, just hug with Emma's face nestled in the crook of Regina's neck.

Operation Happy Ending?

Totally a success.


End file.
